Calios: iS iT GoOd DrUnK AnD sOBeR?

graphic by lillian su

Ahhhhh Calios… we all know it and can’t help but love it. The underwhelming, yet beautiful hole in the wall that operates on Marshall street exclusively from 4 p.m. to 4 a.m is definitely an iconic part of the Syracuse experience. What we don’t know, however, is whether Calios is actually good sober. 

Luckily for you, we did some groundbreaking investigative journalism and surveyed the university to hear if Calios could actually survive as a business if it weren’t for our drunk asses. According to an incredibly intense and ~definitely~ well-researched survey, 71 percent of students agree that they only order Calios when they are drunk because it’s “nasty” and “kind of disgusting.” Wow guys, harsh words.  

 But, what do the workers think? Do they agree that Calios, the calzone king, is mainly drunk food? In the name of truly great reporting, we asked hard-working and dedicated Calios employee, Derek. 

“I would say Calios is good sober, I eat it sober,” Derek said. “We mainly get busy between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. from the students. We only open at 4 p.m. because calzones are more of a dinner and late-night food. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to eat a calzone at 10 a.m. in the morning.” 

Then again, our very-scientific survey showed that there are many students who simply cannot eat Calios unless they’re slightly blacked out. That being said, we salute anyone who orders the “Garbage” calzone from Calios stone-cold sober at 6 p.m. on a Monday. We are not worthy. Keep doing you and carry on, you legend. 

Moral of the story, if you’re looking for good drunk food, Calios is your go-to. Its thick, buttery dough can fulfill all your drunken desires. It can be sweet or savory. And although some may say the size of the calzone is way too big for one person, students keep finding ways to push past the alcohol and finish every bite in one sitting. Because we care. That’s called dedication ladies and gentlemen. So keep getting drunk, and keep drunk eating.