The Beginner's Guide For Halloweekend

photo courtesy of freepik.com

At this point, we’re pretty convinced that Halloweekend at Syracuse University is a more important holiday than Halloween itself. The costumes, the festivities, the inevitability of DPS showing up on Euclid Avenue-- all of these contribute to the intrigue and excitement around the weekend. But when you’re a freshman, all of this activity can be a bit overwhelming. That’s why your friendly neighborhood JERKs are here to help you out with this handy guide to Freshman Halloweekend. 

Step One: Pick A Costume

Obviously, the first step to any successful Halloweekend is a killer costume (or three). If you can’t make it to Destiny USA to grab something to wear, don’t worry! The RAs at the front desk will have absolutely no problem with you showing up multiple times every day for the entire week to pick up your packages from Amazon. And if you’re lacking inspiration to begin with, fear not. Just scroll through your Instagram explore page, decide that all the costumes you see are too difficult to reproduce, and end up wearing all black with little paper ears and calling yourself a cat. Also, the more costumes you have, the better! Everyone knows that you can’t wear the same costume multiple nights in a row, so try to change it up every night. For example, you can take that same skirt you wore last night as a cheerleader and be a Barbie doll tonight!

Step Two: The Pregame

Just like any other weekend, you’re going to want to start off your night with a good old fashioned pregame, and you’re going to want to do it as early as possible. Who says that 3 pm is too early to start partying? During the pregame, make sure to blast your music as loud as possible down the hall of the dorm. That way, everyone can know how much of a good time you’re having. Bonus points if a room near yours is also blasting music so that any passerby will be immediately incapacitated by the sheer amount of noise. This is also the time that you’ll want to begin taking pictures for Instagram in the hallway. Just make sure that you photoshop a water bottle over the White Claw in your hand so you don’t get busted! 

Step Three: Going Out

Finally, it’s time to go out! You and your friends should have a party in mind that you want to go to, so go on and head out into the 30-degree weather to walk across campus. You might be inclined to order an Uber so you don’t have to walk, but remember, if you drink enough (which we’re not saying you will), you won’t get cold. It’s called “drinking yourself a jacket”, and it’s a tried-and-true method that has been used for generations. And sure, the walk might be half an hour, but it’s good exercise and more bonding time for you and your friends. Even better, this is a great time to drunkenly sing early-2000s pop hits as loud as humanly possible!

Step Four: Time To Find A Different House

After your lovely half-hour walk through the wilderness of Central New York, you will finally arrive at the party! Good news: it got shut down by DPS ten minutes ago. Now it’s time to wrangle ten drunk people in the same direction for long enough to find somewhere else to go. As you walk up and down the border of campus in the freezing cold, just remember that these are the times that you’ll look back on fondly in ten years. 

Step Five: The Party

It’s now somewhere between midnight and 3 am, and you’ve finally found an open party. Luckily for you, they were only charging $40 to get in-- what a steal! Now you’re dancing in very close quarters with who-knows-how-many other drunk people, and you’re having an amazing time. You might be tired, cold, and slightly achy, but you finally did it. You feel an immense sense of accomplishment as you dance for about an hour and a half with your friends.

Step Six: Going Home

It’s 4 in the morning; you’re exhausted, sweaty, and still drunk, so naturally, it’s time to venture back to your dorm. Somehow it’s gotten even colder since you were last outside, so you and your friends should huddle like penguins on your journey. Let nothing stop you, even if your roommate demands to lie down in the wet grass for a little while or if your friend runs into the street. Just power through-- you’ve made it too far to quit now. Eventually, you’ll make it back to your dorm, where you are going to attempt to act as natural as possible in front of the security guard and fail miserably. It’s alright, though, because they’ve been seeing people like you all night long. Once your return to your room, don’t bother to take off your makeup. Just kick off your shoes, hop right into bed, and dream sweetly of doing the same thing tomorrow night.