The Ultimate Guide to Navigating COVID-19 as a Stoner

graphic by bailey kretschmer

Think back to the first time you stepped foot into a health class. The cold classroom, the shiny linoleum floor, and the awkward desks lined up facing an underpaid teacher, who has the unfortunate task of teaching sex education. If you’re like some of us, you might have also dealt with an education system that taught abstinence as a means to prevent the negative consequences that can result from sex. Let’s be real, we all know that never works. In fact, schools that opt to teach abstinence-only values over safe sex practices tend to have higher rates of teen pregnancy and STD transmissions.

You might be thinking, hey, I clicked on an article about how to be a safe stoner during COVID-19, not for a sex education lesson. And you’re right! It is just an analogy. We want you to see us as your high school health teacher, but your cool high school health teacher. Yeah, maybe we should just be safe and reduce our interactions by not smoking...but we know you’re all still smoking anyway so we want you to be safe while doing so. Thus, here are the top three ways that you can stay safe as a stoner during COVID-19, brought to you by your favorite JERKS.

(Also, side note. We’re not medical professionals (obviously) and these are just ways we suggest you can be safer. These steps will not completely prevent you from contracting COVID-19.)

Be Mindful When Meeting the Plug 

Just because you may have a personal “safe circle” of people you can smoke with doesn’t mean you are covered when actually buying from your plug of choice. Think about all the people a plug sees on a daily basis, each with their own respective “safe” circles. Every time you visit the plug, you expose yourself to the amalgamation of these circles.

One student, in particular, Mary Kate, outlines the perfect procedure to follow when meeting the plug:

“[I put on] a mask and gloves when I see the plug then sanitize everything once I leave,” she said. “And just because I am a psycho anxious person, I Lysol wipe the little baggies down at home.” 

Another student, Car, suggests people buy a lot of weed at once to reduce the number of interactions with the plug altogether, a system that has been working well for him so far. 

It’s also important to make sure you know your plug is taking precautions for COVID-19, even if that means they throw your weed out the window of their car to reduce contact. 

Don’t Share with Friends...

During COVID-19 it's encouraged to limit contact as much as possible (obviously). Not being able to share a fat joint with your pals is just another one of the joys the pandemic has ripped from us. Thankfully a quick workaround is rolling personal joints, one of SU student, Katie’s favorite methods of circumventing COVID-19 when it comes to cyphing. Another student suggests implementing a BYOW policy, giving you the opportunity to employ your favorite method of smoking despite what your friends do. Though there are a few workarounds, Adore summed up the thoughts of most students best in simply saying, “don’t share the blunt.”

...But if You Insist on Sharing, Be Smart About it

Though most people agree with student, Mia, when she says she prefers “not to pass or share pieces,” there are those brave souls out there who are willing to take the risk. One of these students is Alexa, who has a solution when it comes to sharing glass pieces, particularly her bong. Using her lighter, she hovers the flame over the mouthpiece and bowl before giving it to the next person to pack. Scientifically this is actually pretty effective but can also be rendered pointless because of the saliva particles that may still be in the bongwater (though, it is better than nothing). Student, Mina on the other hand prefers to use a pen, using an alcohol wipe after each person. With this method, it is also important to consider the risk of saliva being shared inside the pen. 

Another student, Ryan, had a unique suggestion which was “always wear a mask while hitting the geeb.” Logistically we have not tried this, and we’re not so sure how it would work, but we guess if you are wearing a mask it's better than wearing nothing (and an impressive feat if you actually get high). So long as the mask is up to regulation standards and worn properly if you can successfully smoke then maybe this could work?

Invest in a UV Light

An interesting and commonly unknown fact is that UV light actually kills COVID-19.  According to Penn Medicine, “studies show that UV light can be used to kill airborne COVID-19 particles and disinfect surfaces. For this reason, some hospitals, subways, and other public locations are using UV light to help disinfect areas when they are not occupied by people.” Although UV light may not prevent COVID-19, it's been a household favorite, especially when disinfecting takeout food. There are a variety of regulation UV light wands and bulbs that have germicidal properties, and you can find a list of verified lights that will kill the virus here. With a UV light wand, you can disinfect everything from pieces to your actual bud easily without any mess.

Unfortunately, there is no quick trick to magically make smoking an easy feat during COVID-19, but the students on campus are certainly trying their best. While ideally, it would be wonderful to cut out the habit to reduce the chance of spread, like abstinence, that just isn’t realistic. Overall, we think we should be proud of the inventive routes students have taken to safely enjoy weed during the pandemic, and we’d like to thank everyone for sharing their ideas. Mostly though, we’d like to thank mother earth for growing weed for us in the first place, as in the words of the student, Car, “weed has gotten [us] through this.”