Looking For Love in a Pandemic
graphic by bailey kretschmer
If you’re in a relationship amidst the pandemic, we’d like to personally congratulate you on your achievement because it simply does not count as quarantine if you’re consistently getting laid (someone had to say it). With the livelihood of the modern single typically consisting of crowded bars, clubs, and frat basements, this temporary hiatus on crowded rooms makes all prospects seem dim. Tragically, there has never been a worse time to be single and lonely. Before, we could aid our loneliness with our most unhealthy means of temporary overcompensation—The One-Off-Quickie, The Random Makeout, and scouring the bottom of the ~roster~ just to feel something—but, in true COVID fashion, the pandemic has taken away the opportunity to form any new relationships.
With all of this time to lie awake in bed wishing there were someone’s arms wrapped around us, we’re left to ponder the seemingly impossible task of finding that person. Meeting and getting to know someone you trust enough to see maskless is limited to Zoom lectures and online dating, and who knows if your Hinge date has even BEEN social distancing! Maskless is basically the new naked, and determining whether someone is even attractive underneath a KN95 is anybody’s guess. Being single seemed fine when our dating pool was wide-open, but now it’s come down to wondering if the person behind the checkout counter at the bookstore is the one because you didn’t hate the book they recommended.
Manifesting new love feels exhausting and almost hopeless, especially when all you did during quarantine was watch overly dramatized rom-coms and that scene from New Girl (you know the one). That being said, in case you’re not falling in love with your roommate, we’ve thought of some positives to being single during the pandemic.
You’re going to get to know yourself and what you want so well, so by the time we’re allowed to meet face-to-face again, you won’t have any hesitations or hang-ups; you’ll know exactly who’s right for you. If you’re not already thinking about this, now is the time to start.
You can absolutely perfect your online dating profile. Being single right now will give you the time to BEAST your Tinder bio with your best photos that are the ultimate balance between funny and flirty.
You don’t have to worry about looking good for anyone. Like, imagine having to put real pants on right now.
Thinking optimistically, in the future, the only protection we’ll be concerned with is contraceptives, but for now, try not to let your single self be emotionally trapped behind that mask. All we can say is come next pandemic (just kidding—hopefully?), we’d love to find that special someone who we wouldn’t mind being locked in a house with for six months of impending doom.