Love on Top
graphic by tanner hogan
Queen Bey is doing it, and you can too.
Love on top, cowgirl position, riding that d***! We’ve heard all the words and phrases in the book to describe getting your love on top. It’s a great position. It allows for deep penetration while giving you and your partner a chance to adore your body.
Being on top is empowering and lets you display all of your lust worthy traits. But let's face it, many of us struggle with body image or getting in our own heads too much and many may find it daunting to be on top especially if they’ve never tried it before. As a curvy woman, I had originally felt insecure when it came to unleashing my inner cowgirl. To be honest I was nervous of what a partner would think of my body. But it was by being on top that I found my sexual empowerment. I was able to own what it was I liked and got to bask in the attention I was getting because my partner liked it too. I’ve heard many friends explain that they don’t like being on top because “they’re doing all the work.” While personally, I like to switch it up and try more than one position during any one sexual encounter I would argue that being on top is a great time to put in work for yourself. Turn yourself on and own the show while you're up there.
Please, for the love of good sex FORGET ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW IN PORN. Hip circles and grinding are the bread and butter of being on top- not jackrabbit thrusts and penis bending mauvers. Use your thighs to help keep you balanced and get the rhythm going. The best part about this position is that it can be modified however you like it. You and your partner can incorporate moves like spanking and choking or have a hot makeout sesh while in the midst of getting it on. If you don’t like doing all the work this position allows your partner to touch you in all the right places allowing for stimulation as well as penetration. It can also be a great time for the rider to take control. Give them the sex eyes, touch your body, focus on you while your up there. Often times your partner will be even more turned on if they see that you’re having a good time.
Whether you are having a steamy one night stand or participating in a quickie with your S.O. before your calc midterm- getting on top is always a great position to get you feeling like you’re on top. Just remember that levels of comfortability differ for all people and that good, open communication is important during any sexual encounter. If your partner doesn’t make you feel good in the bedroom or you feel like you can’t communicate with them they probably don’t deserve you on top. If you’re nervous you aren’t doing it “right” (right being a subjective term here because everyones “right” when it comes to sex is different) just ask! Your partner will be turned on when they hear you care about their pleasure and you’ll be able to convey to them what you like too.