Tell us it’s the first month of school without telling us it’s the first month of school… hordes of freshmen litter Walnut Park, the weather transitions from freezing to sweltering in the span of a day, and your weekend plans include attending everyone's favorite gravel-lot-music-fest – Juice Jam.

Yes, we know we’re like two weeks late to the party. It’s the start of the school year. Fashionably late is in.

This year's University Union event boasted one of the most diverse lineups in recent history, including TikTok-born up-and-comers, an early 2000s icon, and the rapper dating your favorite influencer’s mom.

Those brave enough to fight their hangovers (and the rain) on Sunday piled into cars, trolleys, and ubers, making the trek to South Campus to enjoy the live music and show off their best concert fits.

The show was opened by Florida-grown artist Doechii, who introduced herself to the crowd in style with a sleek blue mesh dress and platform heels – which she later kicked off so she could dance more comfortably. The 24-year-old held no punches, immediately jumping into an unreleased track, much to the delight of her diehard fans who had made their way to the front of the pack. The “Girls” singer left no inch of the stage untouched, dancing from one side to the other, and injecting a much-needed sense of energy into the crowd.

The Tampa-born artist sped through a setlist of her greatest hits, spitting through a rapid-fire verse on “Swamp Bitches,” screaming her heart out on the pulse-pounding “Crazy,” then finally charming the crowd with the house-inspired “Persuasive.” The highlight of the performance, however, came when she handed the microphone to the crowd and hyped up a group of students to rap along to “Spooky Coochie.”

Next up was Yung Gravy, the second curly-headed white boy in a row to headline Juice Jam after last year’s Jack Harlow. The Minnesota rapper is best known for his public interest in MILFs despite being only 26 years old (which explains the assorted “MILF” and “DILF” shirts amongst the crowd), and recently made headlines after appearing to enter a relationship with Tik-Tok star Addison Rae’s mother, Sheri Nicole… yeah, we don’t know either.

Pulling up with an umbrella in hand and his shaggy blond hair behind a headband, the University of Wisconsin alumnus, began with what else but his namesake song, “Gravy Train.” Gravy’s catalog is as bizarre as it is inexplicably catchy, with whimsical trap features like “Mr. Clean” and “Whip a Tesla” sending the crowd into a frenzy. Before long, Gravy was taking off his shirt (no surprise, after a crowd-wide chant of “Take it off!”), swapping it out for a white Carmelo Anthony jersey – making him resemble every other male in the audience and eliciting even more cheers.

Flo Milli took the stage next, obviously showing up in style with an all-denim fit and opening with her viral number “Come Outside.” The 22-year-old, hardly any older than the attendees, had her lyrical prowess on full display, seamlessly transitioning from hot girl hits like “Conceited” to her show-stopping finale number, “In the Party.” The crowd was fully energized by the time the Alabama-born rapper left the stage, and she clearly returned the love, at one point shouting, “I see a lot of bad bitches in here!”

To cap off the event, the iconic autotune master himself, T-Pain, took the Juice Jam stage. Dressed in leather pants, a red crewneck, and at least a semester's worth of tuition around his neck in diamonds, the hip-hop icon treated students to many of his biggest hits, including “Black and Yellow” and “I’m N Luv (With a Stripper)”. For some in the crowd, the appearance of the “I’m Sprung” rapper alone was enough to warrant attendance:

“He [T-Pain] is the only reason I bought the ticket,” sophomore Jay Boscia said. A similar sentiment was shared by senior Chelsea Brown, who decided to attend her first Juice Jam after seeing the rapper’s name on the lineup. When asked why she hadn’t been to Juice Jam before, Brown laughed and replied – “There was no T-Pain!”

Another Florida-born artist, the rapper has been creating, writing, and producing music since 1999 – but based on his Juice Jam performance, you would’ve thought he shared the youth of his co-performers. The 37-year-old performed with the energy of an artist still clambering to reach the upper echelon of rap, screaming the lyrics to 2000s hits like “Up Down,” “Bartender,” and of course, “Buy U a Drank.”

His co-headliner Flo Milli was also clearly a fan of old schooler’s set and has been a fan from the very beginning. “You know I used to listen to him all the time,” Flo Milli told Jerk during an exclusive interview backstage. “I remember being in the backseat of my mom’s car, just rapping everywhere – I would’ve never thought, like damn, ten years, or however many years later, I would be here talking to him. It’s a good feeling.”

Despite the howling wind and scattered rains, UU’s Juice Jam lineup brought the heat and certainly gave SU students their money’s worth – at least to anyone who made it through the event without blacking out.

A Juice Jam for the Tik-Tok Generation