Midnight Mayhem, Madly Exciting or Mildly Aggravating?

graphic by Olivia Smith

We feel the need to preface this article by saying this: Taylor Swift is one of the greatest female musicians of all time and we would never purposefully do anything to harm her reputation (pun most definitely intended). But, according to my professor, “I had to stay up to see Taylor Swift’s tiktok” isn’t an excusable absence from my 8am lecture.

Taylor Swift’s tenth studio album is set to drop less than two weeks from now, and her classic easter egg marketing strategies have become more intense than ever. It is truly inspiring her ability to force all of us Swifties to stay up until 4am watching these easter egg TikToks. She is our God and we are her humble followers.

But Midnights has brought an entirely new category of suspense to her announcement strategies. She started by announcing her album release in the middle of the 2022 VMAs (girlboss moment), and continues to keep us on our toes by releasing track titles one by one through TikTok. She has us under a spell, and we’re ready to risk our sleep (and sanity) for just a sliver of information about her new album.

And we know it sounds stupid to be complaining about random midnight releases. We’re in college, we’re supposed to never sleep, right? But, as we’ve all come to realize: sleep. is. fucking. amazing. I mean we have to save those all-nighters for the assignments we “forgot to do.”

But once we thought we got the hang of Taylor’s Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule we all thought it wouldn’t be too bad. That was great right? Wrong. Taylor, being Taylor, dropped a TikTok on a Thursday. A Thursday! Panic thus ensued. The rumors started again of a single release, a tour announcement, or maybe even confirmation of her and Joe’s engagement. Then, of course, Friday came and there was a rushed explosion of the remaining track titles. Respectfully, wtf.

The Swiftie group chats have been blowing up with false hope and crushed dreams when midnight hits on a new day, and there is silence on Taylor’s TikTok. Look what she made us do.

Moral of the story is the next time you’re laying in bed frustrated that Taylor Swift has faked you out once again, just remember that many of us at Jerk are right there with you. Charge your Schine Dunkin in the morning to Taylor’s bank account.