University Sweet Tooth.

It's officially the most wonderful time of the year - not Christmas, but the few weeks surrounding Halloween when you can binge eat as much candy as you want and not feel guilty about it. Not all candy is created equal, however, and a person’s #1 choice can say a lot about their personality. It's common knowledge that here at Syracuse personality is defined by which college you’re enrolled in, so we here at Jerk have matched each school with the candy that would best represent it.

Whitman School of Management: Reese’s Cups

While tasty, we have to admit that Reese’s is about as basic as it gets. They have that polished, perfected brand appeal that speaks to Whitman students who would rather spend their Halloween analyzing the ROI on chocolate sales than handing it out. Let’s be real: it’s the only candy with brand equity strong enough for their taste.

College of Arts and Sciences: Twix

There’s something for everyone in a Twix bar, just like Arts & Sciences—a mishmash of subjects, flavors, and, frankly, majors that don’t seem to know what they’re going to do with their degree. Arts students see themselves as that caramel layer, silky smooth and essential to the Twix “experience,” while science majors are convinced they’re the crunchy backbone of society. In reality? It’s mostly just sugar and a lot of noise.

School of Information Studies: Snickers

The iSchool is all about practicality and function, which makes Snickers their candy soulmate. Whether they are up coding or analyzing data all night, they are praying to the Snicker gods that the tagline “you're not you when you're hungry” is really true. One bite of that candy bar and they’re hoping for a magical transformation into someone who can pull another 24-hour grind session.

S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications: M&Ms

M&M’s: colorful, over-produced, and deeply obsessed with image. They’re all about that external flash—vibrant colors, shiny surfaces—and underneath, well, they’re more or less the same. Each Newhouse student thinks they’re a unique M&M flavor, but take a bite, and it’s all just milk chocolate in a shell, just like all their projects that start looking the same after a while.

Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs: Pop Rocks

If you are looking for a candy with any sort of substance or flavor, keep moving. Instead, pop rocks are all about making noise, which is perfect because that's what Maxwell majors are best at. Sure, they’ll throw around fancy words like “diplomacy” and “public policy,” but much like the candy, it’s all just fizz. While we can admit that they’re fun at first, it’s only a matter of time before the novelty wears off and you’re left wondering what the point was.

College of Visual and Performing Arts: Skittles

Fun, fruity, and colorful - what more do I have to say? These students often take “tasting the rainbow” a little too literally. VPA students think they’re the life of the party, like a handful of Skittles bursting with random flavors. But honestly, once the sugar rush wears off, you’re mostly left with a headache and an extreme sense of confusion.

School of Architecture: Kit Kats

Architecture students are so used to drooling over buildings that it comes naturally for them to drool over these building blocks too. Square, stackable, and crunchy, what's not for them to love? While the rest of us are breaking off Kit Kat bars to actually eat, Architecture students are probably designing their next midterm model around them.

School of Education: Tootsie Rolls

Tootsie Rolls are reliable, nostalgic, and maybe a little too sweet for their own good, just like Education majors who are determined to make the world a better place. Tootsie Roll fans might be the only ones who actually care about Tootsie Rolls, much like Education students who somehow hold onto the dream of getting kids to care about math.

Falk College of Sport and Human Dynamics: Sour Patch Kids

Falk students, like Sour Patch Kids, have dual personalities - half fierce competitors and half sweet talkers. First, they’ll be hyping you up and giving nutrition advice, but when the pressure’s on, they’re quick to go full sour. Whether it's with gym stats or health advice you didn’t ask for, these students come on strong and keep you on your toes. Grab some water—you’re going to need it.

College of Engineering and Computer Science: Black Licorice

Engineering and computer science students are used to making questionable life choices - like going into their major - so choosing black licorice as their favorite candy is just another mistake. Beloved by very few, these students are used to liking things that nobody else does.

Well, there you have it - each school’s candy draft pick. Just remember, whatever you decide to stuff your face with this Halloween, we are judging you no matter what.

Happy Halloween Syracuse!