Signs You Are Growing Out of Syracuse

Graphics by Maria Masek

If you find yourself straying from many of the activities you found fun in your younger years at Syracuse, that doesn’t mean you’re getting boring, your frontal lobe is just, finally, developing. A little. You’re still a college kid after all. 

Syracuse feels different

Syracuse feels different. All that Freshman Euphoria has worn off. The rose colored glasses are now clear, but with prescription lenses because you’re getting old now and you can’t see as well. 

You’ve been on the South Campus bus, at least once, and if you’re really growing out of Syracuse, you remember when the bus schedules were absolutely FUCKED. You gaslight yourself most days that the weather is fine and that seasonal depression isn’t real– you’ve always felt like shit, right? 

Also Otto up close lowkey looks…scary? I know there’s just a 5’6” girl in that orange, but its eyes look dead. Otto has dead eyes. 

You have also, hopefully, realized that not every single sports game is worth attending. Even if you have the student pass, you can skip out on a game or two because getting wasted on a Tuesday is not feasible because you have a damn capstone to write. And because our sports teams suck right now (seriously SU basketball, get your shit together). Not to mention that the stark realities of adulthood have settled. Money doesn’t grow on trees, and when you’re the only one in charge of what you eat every day, you eat pizza rolls more often than you’d like to admit. 

You gladly mooch off of your younger friends’ dining dollars because they offer it. They’re always given more than they can feasibly run through in a semester. And you weren’t planning to eat lunch anyway, so if it’s on the university, why not?

Parties don’t hit the same

Parties aren’t as fun as they used to be. Frats are sticky and filled with the worst men on the planet. If you wanted to hear pop hits from the 2000s that bad, you have Spotify on your phone. Borgs and four lokos are never really good and always lead to bad decisions. No one should drink that much– but you still will, sometimes, but not a borg. Now, you at least have the power to go buy a drink you might actually enjoy, and get wasted with that. Also– can you imagine going to a dorm? After going to house parties, going to a dorm party seems like an insane proposal.
“Hey, want to go stuff thirty people into a room that, comfortably, fits five, and drink until we can’t see, and then walk out past a security guard and pretend like we are totally sober and pray he/she doesn’t talk to us?” No thanks, I’ll pass. If I go to a party, it’ll be a house party. And I’ll be drunk and in my pyjamas by 1am, max. 

You have refined taste

Growing up is not all doom and gloom. You may be experiencing a period of true personal growth. For instance, your drink orders have become more sophisticated. You no longer put in the effort to convince yourself you like a $3 Twisted Tea.

 Now that you can get into the bars, you find yourself in your finest Carrie Bradshaw cosplay ordering a Cosmopolitan. Or maybe a Negroni, the true mark of an adult with taste. Whatever the case may be, you just treat your taste buds better. Your taste buds thank you for this destination on your long journey through terrible, cheap alcohol. You may also experience a pit in your stomach when you walk by Brockway or Ernie Davis. A nagging, sinking feeling. That is not just old memories of brushes with salmonella. That is your body physically adultifying. Your dining hall days are officially behind you. You used to be able to stomach it because you had to get through the day, but now you have your own place. Access to a grocery store. Some self-respect. So what if your budget is depleting and the tariffs are making flies come out of your wallet– at least you don’t have to eat that nasty dining hall food anymore!

You’re just older, dude

The reality is college has to come to an end sometime. There is a point where you look at fresh-faced 18 year olds that look like babies and you think to yourself, “man, I am too old for this.” If you have a REAL ID, a horizontal one that doesn’t strike fear into your soul when the man at the corner store looks at it for too long, it may be time to cut your losses. 

The thrill of a fake ID fooling a grown man is one reserved for the truly young at heart. If you are a first-term Bush Baby (for the uninformed, a “Bush Baby” refers to children born under Bush’s reign of terror as President, the first term being 2001-2004), then look out for your AARP cards in the mail. Hang it up. It’s over. Hearing someone say they were born in ‘08 makes you feel like you need a rocking chair. I mean, do they even remember the original run of Hannah Montana? Or was their first introduction to the queen Miley Cyrus…. Bangerz? 

All of these factors likely culminate in you noticing your behavior changing with age. Gone are the days of weekend-long ragers and waking up in a random dorm you’ve never been in. You’ve subbed out your wild party behavior for some good ol’ grandma activities. Staying in to watch an old movie. Making bracelets into the wee hours of the evening. Crocheting. But if you knit, you may be beyond help.