The No Summer Internship Blues
Graphic by Téa Sklar
When I returned to Syracuse this year, I made a mental note of what I wanted to accomplish; one, Make long lasting friends, two, Take classes that push me out of my comfort-zone, three, Get a summer internship. Before this year, I never knew how to write a cover letter or how to format a resume, I spent many painstaking hours in the Career Development Center having them read over my stuff and helping me fix things for the sake of getting the job. After putting in many applications and finally figuring out what jobs want to see and hear, I did not get an internship.
I applied to many different internships, where I could write for culture or news sections, either driving 30 minutes up to 2 hours. I convinced myself that my desperation for the role would be able to get me into newsrooms, to prove to myself and others that I am a great journalist. But towards the end of April as the school year ends some places deny me and others never get back to me with my pitch I gave them 3 months ago on their website. To be fair, I know they didn’t steal the pitch, but a reply saying it was a good idea and that they couldn’t take me on would've sufficed. You start to feel crushed inside, like you are not good enough. I spent a lot of time on those applications. Now I’ve come to accept it, disappointingly this summer I will not be interning but scrambling last minute to find a job.
It's a sad realization at first, that the goals you set for yourself cannot be obtained because you did not do enough. You start kind of breaking yourself down as a person, how you act, how you talk, how you keep relationships. You start to wonder if you spent too much time with friends or didn’t ask for help enough. Even now as I struggle to find a job as all the seasonal spots have already been filled, this feeling of uncertainty persists.
But after sitting with it, I started to see summer differently. Before I threw myself into this world, I didn’t give myself time to research or the time to believe in myself. I need to instead build myself up. It's weird to say that all this rejection has given me a newfound motivation to kick-ass; but, now it has lit a fire within me to see things in a new light rather than dimly. I’ve not given up on myself or my future; however, what I have given up on is being desperate. From this I’ve learned how to take rejection as well as how to re-invent myself as a bomb ass journalist. I feel like this summer is going to be the summer of finding ourselves and loving life.