SONGS FOR A LONG WALK HOME
Illustration by Andrea Hernandez
We asked our beloved Jerk readers and staff to submit their picks for the angstiest, saddest, most gut-wrenching song in the world. You’re welcome. From Radiohead to Phoebe Bridgers, we’ve collected the best of the best for your next breakdown.
“Night Shift” by Lucy Dacus
Lucy Dacus rewired our collective brain chemistry with this song and changed how we look at corporate America forever. Step back, Dolly Parton. Nine-to-fives belong to Lucy now.
“Nutshell (Live)” by Alice in Chains
The “(Live)” here is not optional. Listening to long-haired men sing about suicidal ideation hits on an entirely different level when you can hear the audience cheering them on in the background
“Bruno is Orange” by Hop Along and Queen Ansleis
The female vocalists in this song have happy, chipper, delightful voices and somehow they combine to create the saddest song you’ve heard all week. Pure genius.
“Comic Life” by Matt Maltese
You may know Matt Maltese from his hit “As The World Caves In,” but if you stop there, you’re missing out on the rest of his heartbreaking discography–like this song, which will put you on Prozac.
“How to Disappear Completely” by Radiohead
Radiohead has been the soundtrack to our angstiest, mopiest moments since middle school. This song is absolutely essential for depressed Radiohead listening.
“Last Words of a Shooting Star” by Mitski
Mitski is the undisputed queen of day-ruining, life-altering tragic music and this is her worst (best) song of that genre.
“Strangers” by Ethel Cain
If Mitski is the queen of sad music, Ethel Cain is the princess. Her sound is mournful, tragic and perfectly designed for Syracuse winter.
“Paul” by Big Thief
Our freshman year experiences would have been very different (and, perhaps, happier) if we hadn’t had Adrianne Lenker singing in our headphones every free moment. Big Thief will break your heart, guaranteed.
“When She Loved Me” by Sarah McLachlan
If the Toy Story movies can’t make you shed a tear, I don’t think anything can. This song from the Toy Story 2 soundtrack is a killer.
“Moon Song” by Phoebe Bridgers
This song was a submission from former Jerk and Syracuse University alum Margo Moran. She said the song has seen her through different sadnesses throughout her life and hits just as hard at 24 as it did at 20. So true, Margo. So true.
“Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift
Ms. Swift is a master of multiple genres and no stranger to heartbreaking ballads. This song, especially the original version from when she was a teenager, will ruin your day. In a good way.
“Seigfried” by Frank Ocean
Frank Ocean, you sick, twisted man. His album Blonde was a personal attack on our mental stability and we have not recovered, even 10 years later.
“Both Sides Now” by Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell is our spiritual guide and her songs are like Bible verses. She has never been wrong a single time, which is why her sad songs feel like warnings of impending doom.