How to Have A Successful Halloween Costume

By Victoria Troxler

Get your livers ready: Halloween is almost here. But forget the candy and booze, I’m here to talk about the essence of the holiday: the costume. This is the make or break of every college student’s night. Girls: dress up as a generic fairy, and you’re bound to go home man-less. Guys: dress up as a girl, and your chances of getting lucky are nada. Stick to these simple rules and you’ll be a big hit this Halloween. Stay safe, and get some.

Prostitute-it-up: Halloween, the one time a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and get away with it. Forgive my Mean Girls reference, but it’s true. So why not embrace it? If you want to look like a prostitute then by all means go for it. Ditch the store-bought sexy costumes. Reveal midriffs, slap on thigh-highs, and adorn skirts that don’t cover even half of your ass. There is nothing worse than a semi-slutty Dorothy or Rainbow Bright running around.

Man Candy: Girls don’t dress up to stare at each other, unless you’re into that -- then by all means do your thang. There is nothing wrong with looking hot. Funny costumes are always crowd pleasers, but sexy costumes are going to get you some. Channel your inner stripper.

Don’t Wear Wings: Unless you want to get punched in the face, bitch, take them off. On the most crowded of Syracuse nights, wings are a no-no. There is nothing more annoying then being slapped around by the tip of your fairy wings. Please, rethink that costume.

Disney Princesses & Spice Girls: Tempting, as it is to think these are original group costumes, stop kidding yourself. If it’s really the last thing you can come up with, then at least embrace the unoriginality. Just because you have a half Asian friend in your group doesn’t mean she has to be Jasmine. Stereotyping! Come on, people.

Go big or go home: In the last rule of the Halloween costumes, don’t attempt a bold costume if you’re faint of heart. There are sure to be a ton of Charlie Sheens, Lady Gagas, Amy Winehouses, and if you’re bold, Michael Jacksons, but how will you separate yourself from the rest? In other words, go big or go home. Don’t half ass your Lady Gaga outfit. Arrive in a cocoon and all. This is the night when you have total creative freedom to look like a jackass. Go for it.