10 Things We Saw and Heard During Guys Rush
I first have to admit that when it comes to frat boys, I completely embody the “can't live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em” philosophy. Here on SU’s campus, some of us feel they are a more than necessary evil. Although I love this No. 1 party school’s frat population more than I’m willing to admit (shit, I just did), I have to poke some good-natured fun at the sights and sounds of all things guys rush.
So with my disclaimer stated, allow me to tell you some of what we witnessed this past week.
1. A sea of Vineyard Vines. Tees, sleeves, vests, hats and lanyards all marked with that little pink whale (masculine, I know) made their way down Walnut and Comstock past their prospective houses.
2. A Sperry stampede. In the same nature of fashion-for-conformity, Panhel’s favorite boat shoes too marched down Walnut. Very sadly enough, none had appeared to ever be actually worn on an actual boat. :-/
3. Sadly, no popped collars. What, was that only in the movies? I remember being like 13, seeing some total frat hunk with an almost starched looking popped collar, hitting on a young Reese Witherspoon and thinking, “someday, I’m gonna french kiss a guy like that”.
4. A bonding/marching situation. These future frat stars all walked together in a rather impressive formation up and down Greek life’s major streets. My only question, who got to be the line leader? #TopBid
5. Apparent anxiety. What bro, you nervous? It seemed to me that the possibility of not getting ~*ToP TiEr~* was really gettin’ to these bros. Half of them looked like they were about to shit their pants, and the other half looked like they already had.
6. So what’s your dad do? Normal question, severe implication.
7. Dude, I can smell my increased position in this social hierarchy from all the way out here. Said the kid in the back of line… talking to his mom on the phone.
8. Are we done yet? Enthusiastic as I’m sure these sophomores were, I can’t really blame the guys for being damn tired after being dragged into at least eight different fraternities they knew they weren’t rushing.
9. The sound of freshman year friendships dissipating. So your “friend” who lived on your floor last year? That you chilled with like, every night... yeah he’s no longer your friend, basically. You guys didn’t suicide the same place, so like, why continue to shoot the shit over 2 a.m. Jimmy Johns. #tbh
10. *Vomiting* Wanted to get in one last night of fun before all hell rush process breaks loose. I don’t blame ya big guy, I don’t blame ya one bit.
Despite how the public rush process is seemingly a satire-worthy skeptical, these guys know it’s worth it for lifelong brotherhood, bro.