What Your TikTok FYP Says About You
graphic by danny kahn
Can an app that specifically tailors every video you see to your interests actually show who you are as a person? Yeah, probably. You could be spending the night laughing at alt audios, or just in awe over the cottagecore aesthetic while simultaneously wishing you could love nature that much without having to give up TikTok or tech (oof, just us? Never mind then). The app knows what’s up, so let’s see if you do too.
POV TikTok: If you like watching POVs, then you like bizarre or emotional scenarios that probably wouldn’t happen in real life. In other words, you spend hours looking for romcoms on Netflix only to rewatch “The Office” AGAIN. Which isn’t even what you were originally going for, but like now that you’ve started, you’re not gonna stop.
Alt TikTok: You have no filter when it comes to anything. Your sense of humor is either super random or super relevant and there’s no in-between. You’re sick of society, which is like, fair enough. 2020 is not it. You care very deeply about your style and have DEFINITELY dyed or cut your hair over a quarantine mental breakdown.
Cottagecore TikTok: Chances are, you’re hardworking and sweet. Like Alt TikTok, you’re actually sick of the world’s problems, but just want everyone to be happy with the bees and plants. You’re able to romanticize the simple things in life and have become very obsessed with strawberry dresses and cows.
Dance TikTok: You’re horny. You are literally horny. Why else would you be watching people sway their hips or throw it back that often? Okay, maybe you’re just jealous of their ability to dance and want to be like them. Next up on the agenda for dances to learn with friends: WAP.
Zodiac TikTok: You’re really into aesthetics, like REALLY into aesthetics. When you heard about home screen widgets, you probably passed out from excitement. Long story short, two hours have passed and you’re still trying to figure out how you should place the astronomy widget on your home screen. You’ll just redo the entire thing again anyway though.
Cosplay TikTok: You love to see people design 3D costumes based on your fav 2D characters! You feel at home being around people who have seen the same shows like you and love to do the same things as you. You can’t believe how insanely good these cosplayers are! And while you are a bit of a shipper (and maybe a bit problematic at times), you can also be quite wholesome.
While it’s fun to talk about the never-ending list of categories on TikTok, at the end of the day, the differences don't really matter. What does matter though is that you just wasted six hours scrolling through TikTok when you have a midterm tomorrow. Good luck :)