The Alarming Mentality of Competitive Running
photo courtesy of pexels / snapwire
I’ve always been a nervous person.
Becoming tense before a test, sporting event, or public speaking is a normal reaction. But for me, it was much more than that, and it managed to consume 20 years of my life. Anxiety hindered my focus on the most simple of tasks; my mind wandering around 1000 different outcomes of how any situation could go wrong. I felt physically ill before taking exams, often experienced panic attacks before speaking to any number of people, and shut down in the face of the slightest pressure. My preschool teachers tried to convince my parents that I would function better with medication. Originally, we doubted it would be a viable option. Yet I, like so many others, would soon become dependent on it. I now know medication is like any other treatment, and is necessary for some to live a happy life. Mental health is stigmatized in our country, and this led me to ignore my struggles for so many years. Therefore, I allowed my anxiety to manifest itself into other means, leading me to competitive athletics in college.
First, let’s enter my high school running career. Exercise is the best way to relieve stress, though I used it as an escape. It was only a short while before my anxiety ambushed my running. I adopted the mindset of doing whatever it took to become the best possible runner I could. Running was all I could think about. I overlooked spending time with family and friends to rather go workout. Needless to say, my anxiety only worsened. I would shut down for hours at a time, while doing absolutely nothing. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was tired, but could only sleep 4 hours a night. Panic attacks became frequent and focusing was out of the question. However, I still believed that if I got tougher then things would get easier.
I ran fast enough to join both the cross country and track teams at Syracuse. But once I arrived here, I was drained. Motivation came and went in waves and my anxiety would soon hit its limit. The mindset for cross country is similar to any other sport, except with more suffering. The goal for racing is to be the fastest and the fittest, no matter what. When one can barely function in everyday life, they don’t have room for the extreme mental toll that comes with a 2-hour workout or race. Mental health is largely ignored in competitive sports, as they are a test of toughness and grit. Those who mentally struggle tend to perform badly, thus labeling them as “weak.” Athletes are involved in sports to compete, which to a degree, validates the ‘weak’ label. However, conversations around the importance of mental health should be emphasized in competitive sports. The culture of athletics works for people who are mentally healthy and stable. Those that struggle often fade to the back, ending their sports career from physical and mental exhaustion. Mental illness is critical to living a satisfied and genuine life, and deserves more recognition in athletics. It is possible to heal and compete from a new and healthy mindset. Personally, taking a few months off from competitive running for my mental health is the right decision. Healing from any illness takes time, including those you cannot visibly see.
A sports psychologist was recently added to the SU staff, and it was desperately needed. Though things are still far from perfect. Eating disorders run rampant in the running and general athletic community, yet there is still no resource here at Syracuse. A dietician is critical in identifying and treating mental illness, particularly eating disorders. Yet, there is not one available to the athletes. The way in which college athletics operate need a revamp. Giving your body to a sport is absolutely beautiful and devout, but young athletes need to be informed on the resources available to take care of themselves in case they begin to give too much. Against generalized norms, it is not weak to practice self-care and ask for help when you need it. If you realize anyone struggling or secluding themselves, reach out. And take care of yourselves first, please.