OVERHEARD ‘CUSE

graphic by thanh thai

We ‘Cuse kids say the darndest things. Whether it be a fervent debate over what our professor is like in bed, the ROTC boy that got away, or how warm Natty Light just​ hits different​ on a Tuesday, SU is a tapestry of hilarious overheard conversations. Inspired by the iconic Insta Overheard series — @overheardnewyork, @overheardla, @overhearduniversity — we at Jerk have reason to believe that it is our mission to compile a weekly roundup of the best things we’ve overheard on our beloved, chaotic campus. The simple tasks of grabbing a Dunkin’ iced coffee at Kimmel on a Friday morning, printing your paper at Bird, or trying to convince yourself that the food at Ernie is edible becomes nothing short of a reality show if you listen hard enough. Keep your ears peeled, Jerks, and don’t hold back.

Hey, Princeton Review, if you’re reading this: kindly consider listing Syracuse University as the #1 most QuIrKy aNd ReLaTaBlE School in the Country.

THIS WEEK’S ROUNDUP:

“Yeah, she assigned way too much work and I have crabs so...”

“Mongolia...is that in New York?”

“When I was little, I thought eggs were buttplugs.”

“He hasn’t answered my snap for 24 hours. Is he playing hard-to-get or am I being ghosted?”

(Girl on the phone) “Well...DO you want to fuck me? (pause) You don’t HAVE to say yes. I won’t get OFFENDED.”

“Will Vodka taste good mixed with Emergen-C?”

Girl 1: I mean, it wasn’t your most ‘girlfriend material’ moment, but...it could’ve been worse. Girl 2: yeah, I mean, they could’ve still been dating.

“Bees do not social distance.”

“We killed a teacher and started a pandemic.”

“I hooked up with this guy on Tinder and I told him ‘hit me’ and he just gave me a weird look and I was like... ‘no, don’t worry, I’m a feminist.’”

Guy 1: no homo, but Jason Derulo is probably the most seductive man on the planet. Like, he could do whatever he wants to me.

Guy 2: dude, that’s totally homo.

For now, DM @chloehechter_ for a feature, social updates to come.