Heterosexual Dating is For The Trenches

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It’s no secret that sex and relationships don’t always go hand in hand. We live in the modern era of Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other dating apps, where in just a few minutes with a quick swipe right, you can find a hookup – and this can be a totally liberating experience. It’s important to explore your sexuality and desires, and to learn what feels good and what doesn’t. But for some, the practice of hookup culture can be tiring. And some people just aren’t interested in casual sex...and let’s be real, can you blame them?

When most people hear the word celibacy, they may think of someone choosing to abstain from sex until marriage, sometimes for personal or religious reasons. But what if it’s simply to say no to casual sex?

#Celibacy currently has more than 100 million views on TikTok, and this has contributed to the larger conversation about hookup culture. Many people have opened up about disinterest in casual hookups, and waiting to have sex with someone until they are in an established relationship where they feel respected and cared for. A study by researchers from Rutgers University and the University at Albany in 2021 also found that more young adults between the ages of 18 and 23 are having less casual sex. While there was no specified reason for the decline, the researchers have speculated that potential causes may be worries about financial security, deferring sex due to education or other responsibilities, and a general lack of interpersonal relationships with the other sex.

However, it seems to us here at Jerk that many people may just be raising their standards. Even if they aren’t looking for something long-term, people want to get it on with people who are respectful, generous in bed, and just generally have their shit together. And these are surprisingly hard standards to meet for anyone interested in relationships with men.

According to an article from Psychology Today, “younger and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve been in generations,” and this may partially be due to them being insufficient partners. Statistically, men are more likely than women to be single – and this isn’t because there aren’t enough women. The article outlined several reasons so many men are without partners: although men outnumber women on dating apps, women prefer to be with emotionally available men, and many men seem to lack the emotional intelligence required to create a healthy, communicative relationship.

It’s a rough time out here for heterosexual women – you can only have so many situationships with frat boys before you realize that celibacy may just be a more sustainable alternative. Women

seem to be looking more and more for emotional intelligence in partners, and until men can demonstrate that...they’re more than willing to wait. Even if it leaves everyone single and horny.