Real Things Cuse Men Have Said
Oh, boys. Especially Cuse boys. They really have a way with words, don’t they? You’ve probably been a victim of an absolutely vile comment directed toward you by a Syracuse man. Don’t worry. We’ve all been there and we’re here to offer support. Hopefully, this collection of quotes will make you feel a little better about your own experiences on this campus, or at the very least, make you laugh.
Without further ado, we proudly present: some shithead comments Jerk has heard through the grapevine!
“She got the features.”
You heard that right. She. Got. The. Features. A sentence so powerful, it doesn’t even require proper grammar. It’s every little girl’s fantasy to grow up and hear a man say this about her. May we suggest putting this quote in the next remake of a Disney fairytale classic?
“You’re hot. But your breath smells.”
For the average human, this commentary is a lot to digest. It’s honest, bold, and a bit perplexing. We, understandably, don’t think that this expression would sit well with most. In fact, it might even make us consider dropping out of SU to avoid association with the person who said this indefinitely. We’d start looking at transfer applications ASAP...and maybe start flossing a little more frequently.
“It’s been real.”
We know what you’re thinking. This one’s not that bad, right? But this shameful remark really requires us to set the scene. Picture this: you’ve just finished hooking up with someone. They exclaim, “It’s been real,” and then promptly throw up a peace sign. That’s odious. And also a regrettably true story.
“Getting with a girl who has a boyfriend is easy because it’s 1v1. Getting with a single girl is like 1v20.”
What is it they always say...just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score. It may be a tad cocky to assume that you can break up a happy couple, but if you’re truly that confident, we won’t stand in your way. The shell of a man who stated this doesn’t have a “shoot for the stars, aim for the moon” mentality. He is daringly gunning down that moon. And honestly? We respect that.
“You are like an NPC.”
We at Jerk can only assume that this lovely speaker man-splained this term right after it left their mouth. For those who may not know, NPC is a gaming term referring to a Non-Player Character. Whoever said this clearly has some serious main character syndrome. Comparing a girl to someone that isn’t able to think or act independently? Damn, that’s cold.
“I think I’m gay.”
Again, we know what you’re thinking. Gay slay! #Pride! But, unfortunately, a Cuse fella said this directly after he slept with one particularly unlucky lady. So, not really a slay for her. But still - congrats on coming out!