Canceling Out Votes.
Graphics by Kate Batista.
TikTok has had a monumental influence this election season. Presidential candidate, Kamala Harris’s campaign, has tapped into the app’s Gen Z audience by posting ads and leaning into trends. And, as with any big event, creators have been quick to turn the election into content, sparking trend after trend.
One trend in particular features couples, friends, and even family members sharing how they are heading to the polls to “cancel out” each other’s votes. One’s voting for Harris, the other for Trump, and they frame it as a lighthearted disagreement—as if they were debating coffee orders instead of the country’s future. However, laughing off that your boyfriend wants a racist dictator in charge of our country is only funny until you lose access to healthcare, voting rights, and protections for marginalized communities.
This “canceling out” mindset seems naive when you consider the real-world impact. In heterosexual relationships, for example, a man voting for Trump while his female partner votes for Harris isn’t “canceling” anything. The man’s vote actively threatens his partner’s bodily autonomy, and it is surprising how many women in these trends brush off this betrayal. The fact that someone who loves you could vote to harm you should be anything but lighthearted.
“Agreeing to disagree” no longer works. Back in the day, differing political opinions were no big deal, or at least it was vastly less personal. While there were still concrete differences between what candidates and parties stood for, at least it felt like we were still working towards a common goal for the country. In our current political climate, the values of someone voting for Donald Trump just cannot be tolerated, as they directly attack and threaten people's identities and livelihoods. Over the past couple of years, social movements like Black Lives Matter, the fight for LGBTQ+ rights and equality, reproductive and general healthcare access, and the battle against climate change, have blurred the line between what is a political issue and what is a personal issue. So many of these are tied up with people’s well-being and existence in the US. It is perfectly normal to have a relationship with someone whose views differ slightly from your own, however, when those views undermine another person’s right to exist and live in our society, how can that not be a deal breaker?
Ignoring your partner or friend's decision to vote for Trump, does not make you more tolerant or open-minded than those who can’t. Many of the creators posting videos to this trend boast about how they can still be friends with someone with differing views, and, while tolerating an opposing belief is important in life and even in politics, when it comes to this election it is time to get off your high horse around “reaching across the aisle” to friends whose values hurt others and who aren’t willing to listen or change. If you can dismiss a close friend or partner's political choices, you are not more tolerant but rather overlooking the significant impacts on people's real lives.
The ability to ignore a partner or friend’s bigoted views also speaks to great privilege. The capacity to overlook someone's decision in this election is a privilege that many do not have, as the issues directly affect their safety and freedom. Even if you, yourself have voted for Kamala and claim to be an “ally” or claim to want all the things you voted to support, you cannot condone someone who violates those values and votes to harm the people you claim to care about.
There are real consequences for the way someone votes in each election. Not holding your loved ones accountable and just accepting that you “canceled out” their vote this year is just not an option. Family members are a different story, one shouldn't be expected to cut off every single family member who has a differing opinion. However, choosing to be with and stay with a partner who holds such destructive views in this day and age does not make you tolerant, it makes you complicit. Instead of viewing you and your partners and friends' views as separate, we must see them as a reflection of our own values, beliefs, and responsibilities to society. Ignoring the harmful ideals in your relationships is not virtuous. When voting, people are making choices about the kind of world they want to live in. We should all take a closer look at our relationships. How someone has voted this November will tell you all you need to know about their values. Instead of canceling out each other's votes, ask yourself what you truly voted for.