Sallies Who Took the Wine and Ran

Graphics by Megan Radakovich

The Beliebers might have had their chance to be one less lonely girl, but us divas have something even better – Sally. 

Since the release of his hit single “Sally, When The Wine Runs Out,” Role Model – a.k.a Tucker Pillsbury – has invited a plethora of name-drop-worthy celebrities to join him on stage to dance along to the infectious tune. Pillsbury originally plucked fans from the pit to be Sally for the night, but as clips blew up online, the Sallies became more and more A-list. With Pillsbury now reaching global fame, and a potential Grammy Award nomination, it’s time we rank the Sallies. Each Sally has their own attributes, but some have embodied the Sally aesthetic better than others.

From the ability to match Pillsbury’s energy to the use of props, let’s examine which Sallies slayed more than others.  

Ky Newman 

During the early stages of the Sally saga, Role Model brought out content creator and good friend Ky Newman as Sally. Newman did something revolutionary for Sally but very fitting for his character – he turned the whole thing into a big bit. Towards the end of the bridge, Newman signaled a crowd surf to the crowd. I wouldn’t be shocked if the divas in the pit who were unfamiliar with Newman held their breath as he backed up on the stage for a running start. Role Model stopped Newman before nose diving into a pool of divas. Men used to go to war, yes, but were they ever saving lives with patchwork tattoos and cropped t-shirts? No. Security played along with the bit, yanking Newman off the stage like a crazed fan. Newman deserves a 10 in my book for pure humor and being Role Model’s bestie. Who doesn’t love watching boyfriends support boyfriends in their artistic careers? 

Grace O’Malley 

Absolutely biting it as you walk onto stage. Now that’s an innovative Sally. Comedian Grace O’Malley fell face first as Tucker shouted into the mic, “Sally, no.”Don’t fret, O’Malley’s drink was still in hand. She quickly recovered from the fall and brought the energy back up, jumping around the stage with two once-full drinks in hand. Performative or not, this spill was the good laugh the crowd needed. 

Kate Hudson 

Trading a backless butter yellow dress for a pink satin slip, this Sally was an utter shock to all Role Model fans. Kate Hudson made her Sally debut at the Up In the Sky festival in Aspen, Colorado. As a Y2K rom-com queen, Hudson’s appearance was iconic to say the least. Hear me out– Pillsbury in a “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” reboot. Now that’s a film I'd be SAT for.  Don’t let the low ranking fool you, Hudson brought the energy. It’s her level of sheer star power that confused me on how Pillsbury’s team got her to book the role. Hudson’s level of influence exceeds more than almost famous. 

Troye Sivan 

Troye Sivan and Pillsbury recreated a modern day “Titanic” scene, this time with an Australian twink, a toxic taurus and no sinking ship in sight. If I had Pillsbury’s arms wrapped around me like that, I too would feel the rush. Sivan as Sally was everything for me. His casual jeans and a baseball cap made the nonchalance of it all so sexy; the unspoken chemistry between Tucker and Troye undeniable. Troye, baby, is Tucker officially one of your girls now? 

Connor Wood

Comedian Connor Wood, aka Fibula, debuted as Sally with a few tricks up his sleeve, literally. The internet’s favorite brain rot king pulled a bouquet of fake trick flowers from his jacket sleeve. Who knew Sally had magical abilities? Wood teased Pillsbury with the bouquet then laid belly down, ass up with the flowers in his teeth, handing them off to a barricade diva. On his podcast “Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast,” Wood walks us through how he almost fumbled the entire act when he accidentally starts to take his jacket off before the big trick.  He finished the hysterical performance doing high knee jumps with both his fists pumping on a field goal position. Go white boy, go!

Charlotte Cardin

Taking the lyrics quite literally, this Sally strutted onto stage with two full wine glasses in hand. Life imitates art, divas, never forget that. I may be biased as someone who saw this Sally live, but Cardin and Pillsbury were the iconic duo I didn’t know I needed. Her use of props and ultimate girl-cool energy was totally spot-five-worthy. Shoutout Pillsbury for letting a French-speaking baddie be Sally in her home country. 

Jake Shane

One thing I could never be therapissed about: Jake Shane as the inaugural Sally. Shane brought nervous energy to Sally, but can we blame an anxious girly for having a little bit of stage fright? Shane’s Sally performance was simple, yet memorable. The hand gestures he created to complement the lyrics were exactly on the mark. Plus, watching the unpredictable friendship between Shane and Pillsbury reach new heights totally warms the heart. Tents up, divas, for the first Sally there ever was. 

Hillary Duff 

When THE Lizzy Maguire stepped across that stage at Austin City Limits music festival, I couldn’t help but scream. My inner child finally healed thanks to Pillsbury’s obsession with letting famous women take the spotlight during Sally. Duff was arguably the perfect Sally in terms of stage performance. She came out skipping and smiling. With a subtle twirl to the beat and a hair toss, this Sally was effortlessly confident. Extra points for the adorable denim mini skirt and cowgirl boots. Duff fit the perfect “Kansas Anymore” aesthetic. 

Conan Gray

Allow me to set the scene: it’s Pride Month in New York City and two beautiful brunette boys share a fat smooch. Need I say more? Conan Gray lived out everyone’s dreams that day at Gov Ball as he grabbed Pillsbury’s face, planting a big kiss. Pillsbury stood shocked and speechless, but we all know he loved it. After the kiss, Gray bounced around the stage in an ironic “Wish I Were Sally” baby tee. How many wishbones would it take to get the chance to have a snog with a diva from Maine?

Charli xcx

What better way to resolve a sarcastic internet feud than to invite your enemy on stage to publicly squash the beef?  Charli xcx was by far the best Sally to ever enter the Sallyverse. The British pop star borrowed one of Pillsbury’s cropped baby tees to do her Sally thing on the SNL stage. Charli xcx took her signature black sunglasses and placed them on Pillsbury’s face after whipping her long black hair around and around.  In a leather mini skirt and knee high boots, this Sally was totally brat. 

Honorable mentions: Renee Rapp, Lizzy Mcalpine, Bowen Yang, The Dare and Pillsbury’s mom, Susan.