Bring the Old Tradition Back

By Bria Holness

Think back to the infamous and mostly universal parental warning—no sex until marriage. They probably didn’t even mean it, unless you were born into a family with strict morals about sex. I think the gist of the message was to help us realize the symbolism and importance of sex and how its rare intimacy should seal some type of relationship, particularly a serious romantic one. Then again, it could have just been caution to keep you from whoring yourself around.

Either way, once we reach college, that all flies out of our minds—along with our shirts and bras. All types of relationships are mushed into one concept—dating is turned into simply hooking up. And the fuel for this emotional and physical jumble lies within the social structure of a college campus. First off, majority of people come to college thinking it’s a general free for all. And once sex becomes easier to get, real emotions and feelings become harder to find.

As a generation completely invested in instant gratification, we focus on momentary satisfaction. Not only do we want everything at our disposal in the matter of seconds, but we’re constantly looking for the next best thing. This plays a huge role in the nature of sexuality on a college campus and explains why hooking up with someone different every other weekend has become a norm in this environment. So instead of sex being perceived as an actual joining of two individuals, a type of intimacy in which you fully surrender and give yourself to another, sex has merely become another physical activity.

This same action used to be a token of a relationship and was something that not only had value, but also was worked for. Now, many aren’t willing to work for something that they can get somewhere else. Or if they have worked a little for it but no relationship has been established, they see no need to make it official when you can basically get the gratification without commitment. Once people start feeling something for another, many withdraw, afraid of being made vulnerable, especially in such a threatening environment—a sex-centric place that holds a real possibility for hurt. But more importantly, catching feelings would mean the possibility of not only restrictions, but also possible complications, arguments, and stress, things people are not willing to deal with when sexual relations are so easily found.

But every relationship doesn’t have to be solely about sex. People need to be upfront with one another and stop this trend that our generation has created, distorting dating into nothing more than hooking up.

But avoiding the heartache isn’t always possible. Still, prepare yourself by establishing whatever type of relationship you’re getting yourself into from the beginning. This will avoid any dissonance or disappointment. It may be a nerve-wracking matter to speak what’s on your mind, but it’s always best to be on the same page from the get-go so that no one builds any blind sighted expectations. In the end, these will only lead to arguments, stress, and complications—the very things that everyone seems to be trying to avoid in the first place.

Or maybe we should all just listen to our parents and wait until marriage. If it’s too late, then embrace the horniness. Just make sure you bring along protection—and not just for the physical.