Did Canada Really Just Legalize Marijuana?


People in Canada are cheering, dancing in the streets, and crying tears of joy after the Senate passed a historic bill with a vote of 52-29 to legalize recreational marijuana, the second country in the world to do this, following Uruguay. Canadians happily stood in long lines, waiting for marijuana dispensaries to open their doors last Wednesday, October 17. They were so excited by this dream come true that they’ve already consumed most of the country’s stash. God damn, Canadians really know how to have a good time.

How did this happen?

It all began with sexy daddy Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. During his Liberal Party’s 2015 general election campaign, he pledged to legalize recreational marijuana in order to keep marijuana away from minors and lessen crime. Stemming from this promise was the Cannabis Act, introduced in April of 2017. That November, the House of Commons passed it, leading it to the Senate, who passed it this month.

Why was it legalized?

To stop marijuana-related crime, to stop unintentionally helping drug cartels, to make it harder for underage users to acquire it, and to overall boost Canada’s currently shitty economy. The marijuana black market has only resulted in marijuana-related conflicts and violence within Canada. Additionally, the money earned from such deals often goes back to drug cartels that use that money to commit murders, kidnappings, and torture. Instead, legalizing marijuana produces legitimate jobs and sparks a billion-dollar industry.

What about previous weed charges?

Canada has declared that anyone convicted of possession of 30 grams or fewer is pardoned; however, producing, distributing, selling, or using will remain an offense for minors.

Can you buy it? Use it?

YES! The legal age is 19 in all provinces, except Quebec and Alberta where the legal age is 18. However, hopefully you didn’t already delete your dealer’s number, as it is still illegal to possess marijuana when crossing the border. It looks like spring break will no longer be spent in Florida. Canada is the new hot spot!

What does this mean for us?

This is fucking great news. Most of us are ecstatic about the new perks that come along with passing the bill. Although we still can’t legally sell or consume weed in America, it just got a hell of a lot easier to acquire, making it less expensive as well. Weed will soon overwhelm SU, replacing dab pens and juuls.

Let’s get blazed.