Don't Call It A Comeback

By Laura Cohen

So he or she dumped you. Or never called you back. Or hooked up with your best friend. Whatever the case, the race is on as to whom will be the first to move on from the mess you left behind. I was always told, “The best revenge is living well.” Well luckily in this day and age we can document every moment of our scandalous single lives via social networking.

The newest form of virtual payback: utilizing your Facebook page. Don’t deny it: we are all Facebook stalkers at heart.

The profile picture says everything.

Not only is it the main image on your page, but it’s also that thumbnail that’s plastered all over Facebook. Think about the message you want to send to your ex, as well as the world. Whoever you’re with in that picture will automatically be seen as your ex’s replacement. And your ex will feel the burn.

New album, new activities.

The “Create a new album” feature (or whatever it’s called on this new Facebook) is really all you need to prove to the world that you are not, in fact, sitting on your couch spooning a quart of ice cream (even if you are). Whenever you go out, whip out that digital camera, iPhone or Blackberry and capture every hot moment. And of course, as the designated photographer, only upload the photos that make you look hot.

Use your status like a mirror.

In other words, reflect on how great life has been lately. “Great time at Harry’s last night!” or “No way can I make it to my 8 a.m. after last night!” Sure, your wall may start to look like a Twitter feed, but now we can all know every detail of your single life, which is fabulous. Or at least it will look that way. Helpful tip: tag friends in your statuses so they take over the news feed.

New friends= popular.

You are now friends with 10 other people. And if you’re meeting new people, you are obviously doing just fine and even having fun. You might have to add everyone first, but it doesn’t matter, because no one can tell who added whom. Maybe to them you will look like a creeper, but in your ex’s eyes, all these new people are adding you. And that’s all that matters, right?

How do you pump up your Facebook profile? Comment below and let us know.