Drake’s Guide to Getting Over Your Ex
Drake has been a star in the eyes of many since his days as the original Canadian sadboi, Jimmy on Degrassi (aka your favorite show during the otherwise dark times of junior high). The King of emotional rap, Drake understands us, and how difficult life and love can be. Let Drake take care of you and impart his knowledge on how to ~feel no ways~. Take time to grieve over the break up
If there is anyone who knows the importance of understanding your emotions, it’s Drake. Drake’s the perfect companion for crying in parking lots and contemplating life with a cashier at WholeFoods. Break-ups suck and are therefore the perfect time to let out a good wail, not only about your ex but about your goldfish that died when you were 7, that exam you failed, your student loans, etc… because no one will judge you for it! In his song, “Doing it Wrong,” he croons, “…cry if you need to…touch if you need to…talk if you need to.” Every person copes differently, but the first step in getting over someone is acknowledging any feelings you may still have for your ex. Do as Champagne Papi does, and wear tissues as a greater accessory than a gold chain, surround yourself with all that money you’re making, and confide in a stripper.
Self medicate (or don’t if you’d rather not end up calling your high school boyfriend at 2 am)
Most of Drake’s saddest songs about his ex girlfriends occur because he was at clubs drinking and having sex with a lot of women. Such a hard life Drake leads. The whole premise of “Marvins Room,” is that he’s drunk calling an ex girlfriend to tell her she can do better. In his song, “Wednesday Night Interlude,” PARTYNEXTDOOR sings, “When I'm lonely, mix the Remy, little bit of Henny.” Skip a chaser, and dilute vodka with your tears. It’ll be the sweetest cocktail you’ve ever had. Getting a little tipsy off of boxed wine is a good way to loosen up after a rough break up, but remember that sometimes getting too drunk can make you feel lonelier and more in need of affection…so like yoga or maybe dying your hair are probably the safest bet when it comes to embracing the path to self-healing.
Reevaluate your past relationships
Take time to reevaluate all your previous relationships, to think about the things that you liked and disliked in each. For example, if you have been constantly made to feel shitty any time you’re in a relationship, maybe it’s time to pursue a different set of qualities in future romances. Now you know, the Drake you need in your life, ain’t no Drake Bell who’ll play with your emotions. Pensive thinking in a darkened room is necessary in discovering the underlying truths about your previous relationships.
Drake, himself, realizes that “I got fake people showin’ fake love to me…. Look you in the face and it’s just not the same.” Realizing his relationships with certain people lack substance and honesty, makes him less interested in these “fake” relationships, and more inclined to cut out the negative energy from his life.
Figure out what went wrong
If there was a lack of trust, with your partner always making you as anxious as Drake in Hotline Bling, probably not the best relationship! “These days, all I do is wonder if you bendin' over backwards for someone else, wonder if you're rollin' up a backwoods for someone else…”
And if they fought with you at Cheesecake factory, knowing that you love it there… why didn’t you dump him or her sooner!?
Realize that you deserve better
Break ups happen for a reason. Remember your worth and that you can probably do better than the boyfriend you had freshman year. As Drake puts it, “Made me feel like I ain't have it like that, I was average like that…You ain't really fuck with me way back then but how 'bout now? Cause I'm up right now and you suck right now.”
You don’t have to necessarily knock your ex down in order to feel good about yourself and your future love life, but it sure can help.
Drive up to their parent’s house (`cause yeah they still live there) with that new Ferrari you can’t really afford. Yeah, you’re in even more debt now but hey, at least you’re being suffocated by your loans, and not your heart.
In the wise words of Aubrey Graham, “I had to let go of us to show myself what I could do.”