Here are Some of the Weirdest Things Your Fellow Classmates Have Heard During Sex


Design by Brittany Isdith Everyone has experienced dirty talk in the heat of the moment, but there is such a thing as too dirty. We all say stupid shit from time to time, usually in the most inappropriate moments. Any intimate moment is automatically ruined with a, “Hey you kind of look like my grandma,” met with an abrupt stop, a strange look and utter silence.

We asked some of our sexually active homies here on campus for the weirdest thing someone has ever said to them during sex. Cue your awkward turtle hands, because things are about to get weird.

“This is my dick, his name is Richard– dick for short.”

Zero points for creativity on that name.

“Technically, my mom and I have the same body. You and my dad are basically having sex with the same person.”

Bringing your family members up during sex is straight up uncomfy.

“I’m gonna marry you.”

Well, that was just a little straight forward. Glad, you’re moving so fast… we'll keep an eye for for the invite in the mail.

“Are you down for anal? I don’t care like if you fart or anything.”

Farting was my number one concern when it comes to anal, thank you for making me feel more comfortable.

“I only want to fuck you, because you look like Mia Khalifa.”

Girls love being compared to porn stars. Makes us feel super classy, thumbs up.

“Hold on, let me Google what queefing is.”

I guess staying educated and prepared is important… but something tells me this Google search could wait.

“You’re going to suck the soul out of my dick.”

We’re assuming that this one is a compliment, a frightening one at that. Also, do dicks even have souls?

“I’m sorry, I don’t have abs."

Welcome to the club hunny. If you're in college, you don't have abs (unless you have a "fit4life" Instagram account).

“Are you Jewish?”

She’s probably just making sure that her Jewish grandma will approve of her current actions.

“Spit in my mouth and call me Sally.”

*Drops the mic.* You win.

Unless your dirty talk game is on point, let’s keep it a little more hush hush during sex. Feel free to throw in an occasional moan or heavy breathing here and there, but if you're wondering if what's on the tip of your tongue is too weird, odds are it is. And not in a good way.