Here's What Your Bra of Choice Says About You

Photo by Erica Mack People say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But in all honesty, looks can be deceiving, and interpreting a person’s inner motives can be difficult. In a rush to figure out a semi-stranger’s true character, you might try analyzing their outfit or hairstyle, but that could all be for show.

So how on Earth are we ever supposed to make an unbreakable connection with our partner? After all, isn’t getting to know each other on a deep, personal level what everyone really wants to do in the heat of the moment?

It’s not. But if you want a quick glimpse into someone’s soul, check out their lingerie of choice. Stringy, strappy, padded, beige, magenta – it all means something.

Here's an in-depth look at what a girl's bra really shows about their personality.

Cotton T-Shirt Bra

This girl is comfy and proud of it. She’s your typical girl-next-door with a touch of tomboy. She knows she doesn’t need frills to have flair. Later, she’ll probably play video games with your roommates and eat pizza without dabbing the grease.

Strappy Triangle

She listens to everything from Chairlift to Rihanna, her contour is seamless, and her kicks are fresher than Gigi Hadid’s. She has an artistic side but still means business. She knows what she wants and doesn’t screw around. Figuring out how to get all those straps in the right place without spraining a shoulder alone validates her determination and intelligence.

Ultra Padded

It’s one thing if she’s flat, but if you’ve got a busty girl pushing her cushion with an unnecessary size-up, beware. Insecurity issues might be strong with this one. It could mean she just wanted to be her most voluptuous self for a night out (which is totally cool) or she’s a compulsive liar and will steal your toilet paper just for that extra two-ply before disappearing in the middle of the night. Then she’ll poke you on Facebook weeks later and say it was an “accident lol how are you? Wanna get bubble tea? COME BACK PLS.”

Decorated Push-Up

You got yourself a South Jersey girl. We’re all about tits, glitz and Pita Pit. This category is not solely confined to natives of the shore, but there’s a damn good chance she knows how to roll ‘em like they do in A.C. She’ll shoot a glaring bitch face at anyone who disses Billy Joel or her hometown pizza. A little sparkles never hurt nobody.

Intricate Teddy or Cutouts

She’s a super freak, super freak, she’s super freaky. Okay, maybe not super freaky, but she likes to put on a show and spend time showing off what she’s got. She probably has perfectly even eyeliner everyday and a coffee cup that says “Man Tears.” When she’s not trying to bring burlesque to the bedroom, she commands attention in the workspace by walking all over her enemies in stilettos.


Hm, this is interesting because it could go multiple ways. 1) You just raced back from a date night where she wore a V-deep deep-V and excess coverage was out of the question. Have fun in your drunken stupor. 2) This girl’s aura is vibrating out of control, her hair is a mess of cascading locks and she may or may not be a mermaid trying to win a bet with a sea witch. Ask her to say her name, and if she responds by clutching her throat, then brushes her hair with a fork, know that you’re getting busy with a fish. 3) You just left Coachella, where bras are illegal. 4) She’s not about to conform to typical body image standards. This is her private way of freeing the nipple and feeling out the world, one light breeze at a time.

Simple Neutral with Minimal Padding

Whether it's black, white, or nude, the color hardly matters. The point is that this woman is confident in her looks and wants to let her natural beauty shine, no frills needed. Don't be fooled—she’s still a little cheeky. Her teachers call her bubbly, her best friend says she’s hysterical, and she thinks she’s a dork—but you know she’s an easygoing knock out.

These are a very narrow representation of bra-wearers, but the truth is there. Bras are sacred. We ladies keep them close to our hearts at all times. They lift us up. Don’t neglect the negligée the next time you’re “getting to know” the half-naked woman in front of you.