How to Deal with a Sex Rut
By Lindsay Dolak
With all the talk about college students being more sexually involved than academically involved, it’s hard to believe that we, as young adults in the prime of our libido-laden and testosterone-driven existences, do, in fact, struggle to find sexual partners at times. These so-called sexual ruts affect the single and coupled alike and can have immense physical, mental, and emotional impacts on our lives. I mean, these are the years to experiment, test the boundaries, and find your penis prerogative, if you will. So, what happens when the dreaded dry spell hits? Here’s how to deal during those barren days.
If You’re Single
Maintaining a solid and consistent sex life while single without being slutty isn’t easy. I’m not one to advocate whoring yourself out to the whole campus. I strongly believe that having multiple new and different sexual partners each weekend is gross. So I commend the singletons that don’t just crawl into bed with the first person that grinds on them in a frat basement. However, these people tend to look for quality, not quantity, unfortunately making them the first to fall victim to a sex rut.
What I suggest is, quite frankly, patience; you have to ride it out. Well, wouldn’t that just enhance the current demise of your sex life, you might ask? My response: It actually might enhance your sex life. “It’s not easy; honestly, it can be frustrating,” says Sarah, a sophomore. “But I always remind myself that I am much happier when I fuck one guy who’s really, really great in bed instead of three who absolutely suck.”
Anyone who isn’t absolutely hopeless and disgusting can go out and find three willing partners for each night of the weekend. But you’re better than that. You might be thinking ‘Am I really?’ Yes, you are, and there’s a much better pay off for those who find an actual sex partner instead of spreading their legs for a basic lay.
If you’re desperately seeking some kind of sexual activity right now, at this minute well, I once saw a porno in which a man fornicated with a chair. You could always try that.
If You’re Taken
It’s a common misconception that being in a relationship equates to having a consistent sex life. Sure, the first two months you guys couldn’t get your hands off of each other; you were literally banging every second you had, I’m sure. But now you’re realizing all those minutes you spent sucking and slapping should’ve been spent studying or catching up on sleep. You’re both tired and stressed—you’re human beings. Sex just might not be the only thing worth spending time doing. Blasphemy right? Maybe not.
There are a multitude of factors that can cause a sexual slow down and my first tip on how to get back into the mood is to admit you have a problem. You have to be conscious of any kind of addiction to work proactively to pretend to stop, meaning you have to be well aware of your sex rut to fix it. Next, you have to realize at least some of the factors causing you or your hun with a nice bun to just not be so in-it-to-sexually-win-it all of sudden. School? Family? Sexual orientation confusion? There are a lot of things that can alter sex drive. Pinpointing the source of the rut makes it that much easier to solve.
After you’ve figured out any potential mental road blocks, it’s time to figure out what the hell you’re doing wrong physically. Repetition is a great way to learn a new language and is also a great way to fall deep into a sexless well of doom. Always knocking boots in the same position? Try Cosmo’s “Torrid Tug of War” position. Constantly doing it in the same room, on the same bed, around the same time (bed time, perhaps)? Get on a bus to Carousel Center and bang it out in a dressing room mid-day.
It’s up to you to spice up your sex life. Remind yourself why sex is, and always has been, so sought out. Stop being so damn unappreciative of your living, breathing, and quite available sex toy. Don’t you know there are single people out there with sex not readily available at all times?