How to Get Back in the Game After a Rough Breakup

Photo by Adham Elsharkawy You grab the ice cream. You put on a movie. You place your third box of tissues on the end table, and you let yourself cry. You’ve been dumped. Whether it was two weeks, two months, or two years, he broke up with you and bottom line is that it’s a shitty feeling.

Most of us have been there, whether you were the one who was dumped, the one consoling the one who was dumped, or the one doing the dumping. We all have to deal with the aftermath of bad breakups. While sulking in your sorrows and indulging in gross amounts of food may provide short-term pain relief, these "coping" mechanisms will only make things worse for you in the long run. You need a fresh start. You need to feel confident again and ready to get back out there. But before you put yourself back on the market, there are a few things that need to be addressed.

  1. Unfollow him on social media.

I know, you would love to know what he is doing at all times. You'll want to know who's in his snap chats, who's liking his pictures, and what he's retweeting. The list goes on. Micromanaging his social media accounts will not do you any good unless you want to be known as the creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend. FYI, being "that girl" is not attractive to him or anyone else now that you’re single. Just unfollow him. Out of sight, out of mind. You’ll get over him quicker, trust me.

  1. Get rid of any reminders.

The birthday card he slipped in your locker while you were in class. The pictures of you two from your senior prom. His sweatshirt you wore that still smells like him. As tough as it may be to do, it’s time to get rid of things that remind you of him. These memories may bring you temporary happiness but you do not need your past relationship to bombard your day. It’s time for a fresh start and a new beginning. You don’t have to throw them in a fire and have your friends applaud you as you do so (though that would be extremely entertaining). Just remove them from your everyday activities. To piggy-back off of unfollowing him from social media, the less you are reminded of him, the easier it will be to move on.

  1. Get up, get ready, and get going.

I’m sure the Nicolas Sparks movies are really making you wish you had a Landon Carter from A Walk to Remember, or a Noah from The Notebook, but you can’t keep wishing for things you don’t have. You need to change out of your sweatpants, get in the shower, put some make-up on and get your life together. Think of this as an opportunity. You have the ability to start new. “Dress to impress,” and smile even if you feel like shit. In other words, “fake it ‘til you make it.”

  1. Give yourself a week to stay in and cope.

When my friend was dumped, I’ll admit, my first instinct was to get her ready to go out. It wasn’t until someone chimed in to say, “You do not want to be the drunk girl crying at the bar over her ex,” that I realized he could not have been more accurate. Alcohol inevitably brings out true emotions, and if her ex-boyfriend was on her mind before she started drinking, then you can bet her ex-boyfriend will be on her mind after she starts drinking. No one wants to talk to the sobbing drunk girl at the bar.

I know break-ups are tough and change is hard to accept, but the sooner you grasp the situation and realize crying and feeling bad for yourself won’t get you anywhere, the quicker you’ll be moving in the right direction. Not to get soft on you but no one is worth making you feel bad about yourself. So let him go, move on, and get back out there. You got this.