How To Get Him Out Of Your Bed The Next Morning

It's the morning after. You wipe your eye boogers away, let out a big yawn, pull your sheets tight around your body, roll over, and oh shit. Guess it's "good morning"to this handsome fellow lying next to you. Oh wait, you thought he was handsome. What the hell were you thinking? Damn those tequila shots. Damn them.

Well let’s think of the plus side, at least he is still sleeping. But wait, this is your bed. If it were his bed, you would grab your clothes and make a run for it, or crawl if you’re super hungover. But this isn’t the case, so now what?

You have a couple of options if and when this situation arises.

First things first, I’m the realest (sorry force of habit). But actually, the first thing I would recommend is to have an emergency plan with your friends. Some friends have signals. Some friends have code words. Personally, I would recommend that when you wake up and realize he is still asleep, send the classic “SOS” text to your roommates. This text message will let them know that this boy was a mistake, and needs to go ASAP. You should discuss these possible steps with your roommates prior to going out. Improvising will only lead to disaster.

An easy way out (and a pretty cruel approach) is to leave your dorm or apartment and avoid coming back for a minimum of two hours. However, this will only work if he is still asleep when you wake up. He’s bound to wake up and leave on his own in that time period, and if he doesn’t, that’s a little creepy. Or nice, depending on how you look at it I guess.

But the real issue arises when he wakes up before you, and doesn’t leave. If he wakes up and does scoot out, congrats girl, you’re in the clear. If he wakes up and hangs around until you also wake up, well sorry but now you’re in some deep shit.

This is when the alarms go off, the lights flash, and it’s go time. You’ve planned for this and now it’s time to put it in action. In this scenario, I would recommend bringing him into your common area with your roommates and dropping the SOS-hint to your roommates. You need a “go-to” question that will indicate that, as Bon-qui-qui states, “this dude need to go.” Something along the lines of, “did you submit your assignment on time last night,” or “do you have a lot to do today?” will communicate to your roommates that they need to spring into action and help you out. Let them handle it. You’ve dropped the hint and have done all that you could do without making things more awkward. Good work. And to the roommates reading this that may be put in this situation, good luck.

As an FYI to everyone, let’s choose our men wisely. I know sometimes you get those drunk goggles on and it’s a lost cause. And when the drunk goggles steer you wrong, you may find yourself in a sticky situation the next morning. Make sure you have a plan in place. This is not a situation you want to find yourself in unexpectedly. If you already have a plan, good for you. If you don’t, get to work right away.