How To Know If You Really Want To "Netflix and Chill"

Screen Shot 2015-09-25 at 3.20.59 PMPhoto Courtesy of carolynduchene

You went over expecting to relax and watch movies, but he keeps trying to get to second base with you. Did you miss something?

“Netflix and chill” is a relatively new kind of lingo, but the intentions of a person asking you to “Netflix and chill” have been around for a while. Some people want relationships beyond sex, others don’t. Most of the time, the person who asks you to “Netflix and chill” in the beginning of a relationship, or before a relationship has formed, wants nothing more than a hook up. If they wanted more, they probably would've pitched a more romantic date, other than sitting on their creepy couch to watch How I Met Your Mother for three hours. When they invite you to their room right away, and you want something more than just a hook up, believe me… it’s not a good sign.

When someone invites you over to watch “Netflix and chill,” they usually don't want you to come over to watch movies… let's be real, they're trying to get laid. You might have thought this person genuinely wanted to hang out and spend time with you, but their motives are not that innocent. Maybe they do want to get to know you, but they want to get to know you in ways that just a verbal conversation cannot accomplish.

People misinterpret the “Netflix and chill” invitation every single day. It's an epidemic. One of my friends who went to college with a boyfriend could not make a male friend to save her life. Why? Because of "Netflix and chill."

“I went back to his room after he asked if I wanted to hang out and I agreed, thinking we were just going to… you know, actually watch movies,” she said. Of course, this seemingly harmless invite ruined what could have been an actual friendship. “Before he even put anything up on his screen, he tried making moves, and I immediately knew what he was trying for.” Now whenever she passes him on campus she has to remember the awkward and uncomfortable moment that she wasn't tryna Netflix and chill. Very unfortunate.

So, how can we differentiate between someone actually wanting to hang out and catch up on some shows, or if they could care less about what they are watching and instead just want to get your clothes off? My suggestion: take a good few seconds to think about the conversation that led to this "Netflix and chill" invitation. Were you guys being flirty and touchy before they invited you back to their room? Or was the conversation really casual and completely harmless? Because let’s be honest, if they were giving hints long before they invited you back to their room, then quite frankly, as the saying goes, the writing was on the wall. When the hints were not there and their intentions end up being not so innocent, that’s when you might be caught in a "touchy" situation.

If you want something more than casual sex, don't agree to the chill. If you just want a hook-up, then “Netflix and chill” might be a good move for you. Either way, don’t be fooled the next time someone invites you over. If you're trying to catch up on Scandal and they invite you to watch it with them, they might be aiming for a different type of scandal, not the one than Shonda Rhimes provides.

Go with your gut, it's usually right. Does this person seem genuine, or are they just out to get some?