Jerk’s Definitive Guide to the Excellence of 2007



2017 is officially coming to a close, and what a wild ride it’s been. From kissing our beloved cool-dad President Barack Obama goodbye to inaugurating our Cheeto, Donald Trump, to tennis player Serena Williams winning the Australian Open with a record twenty-three grand slam singles titles while eight weeks pregnant. Also, remember when all of North America was able to witness the first total eclipse of the sun since 1979? Or how Netflix answered our prayers in October with season two of Stranger Things? We are living in quite a time.

Nevertheless, as we look back on this past year, it’s important to remember one very, very crucial thing: 2017’s got NOTHING on 2007. That’s right. It’s been a decade since the most iconic year of all time. 2007 has, and will always be, the epitome of pop culture history. And to prove it, we’ve compiled for you Jerk Magazine’s Definitive Guide to the Excellence of 2007.

The Music

If you lived large in 2007, you were jamming to these bangers. The year was a well-oiled machine of songs that would ultimately become all-time classics. It’s crazy to think the songs we now consider nostalgic were once, in their prime, number one hits constantly being played on the radio.

  1. Rihanna defied the element of water with her single “Umbrella”
  2. Sean Kingston made women around the world swoon with “Beautiful Girls”
  3. Middle school dances were forever changed—for the better – after Soulja Boy released “Crank That”
  4. Mika’s “Grace Kelly” allowed us to be brown, blue, and violet skies
  5. The iconic sister duo Aly & AJ and their single “Potential Breakup Song” got us mad at the boyfriend we didn’t even have for forgetting our birthday

The Fashion

We may look back on some of our old fashion choices and laugh (or groan in pure disgust), but admit it. 2007 held some of the greatest style moments of all time.

1. The Juicy Couture Tracksuit

Left: InStyle Right: SheMazing Bottom: Kim Kardashian's IG

Nothing screams 2007 more than these rainbows of velour. All of our favorite stars wore them, so we did too. And what’s crazier is that the alluring tracksuit is back! Bloomingdale’s paired with Juicy to release an exclusive collection full of our favorite athleisure looks. So, basically 2017 is the new 2007.

2. UGG Boots

Left: SquareSpace Right: StyleBistro

Unfortunately we don’t see celebrities like Beyoncé and Nicole Richie toting Ugg Boots on the red carpet anymore, but in 2007, anything was possible. Besides, who wouldn’t want to pair up these boots with a miniskirt? Wearing UGGs is like walking on a cloud, and anyone who says they would pass that up is lying to not only you but to themselves.

3. Tiny Vests

Left: JustJared Right:

One can only wonder what purpose this fashion trend served. Did it keep us warm? Did it make everything we did seem more official? Whatever the case, the only acceptable reason someone should wear a tiny vest today is if they’re a waiter.

4. Oversized Belts

Left: TheGloss Right: StyleBistro

Long blouse? Belt it. Dress? Belt it. Low-rise boot cut jeans bedazzled on the back pockets? Belt it. If it was 2007, it had a belt. Not to hold anything up, really, just because it was fashion.

5. Chunky Highlights

Right: Buzzfeed Left: Buzzfeed

If Kelly Clarkson had them, you did too. Chunky highlights were the Rachel Green of 2007. Possibly one of the most jarring hair trends, but we loved them just the same.

The TV Shows

2007 offered us some of the best television in history. We became Upper East Side elite private schoolers with the premiere of Gossip Girl, drove through Calabasas and shopped at DASH with the start of Keeping up with the Kardashians.

Some of our favorite childhood tv shows debuted on Disney Channel and Nickelodeon in 2007, like iCarly and Wizards of Waverly Place. But of course, when one door opens, another door closes. That meant saying goodbye to our favorite mother-daughter duo, Gilmore Girls (until it’s revival on Netflix in 2016), and to The OC. Although, let’s be clear that The OC died when Marissa died.

The Culture

American culture peaked in 2007. Barack Obama was campaigning for his first presidential run. Britney Spears shaved all of her hair off (and consequently attacked the paparazzi with her umbrella). Both Paris Hilton AND Lindsay Lohan went to jail— Paris for driving with a suspended license and Lindsay for cocaine possession and a DUI. And of course, Miley Cyrus launched her Best of Both Worlds Tour, which later was transformed into an iconic movie. Our lives were forever changed with the debut of the first ever iPhone, and our childhood came to an end with the release of the seventh and final installment of Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Whether you realize it or not, we were truly blessed in 2007. So as you reminisce on the highs and lows of this past year, think about the one that truly matters double-o-seven.