Logan Everett, Syracuse Fuckboi and First American Boy

American Girl dolls were your incredibly expensive childhood best friend. Your parents spent way too much money on the doll, plus accessories, plus matching clothes, but, dammit, they were classics. This week, for the first time in history, the brand revealed that their newest doll would be a boy. That may sound good, but the issue is that it’s Logan Everett, whiteness personified.

Logan Everett sounds like your worst hookup. Maybe he’s that one bro that checks the ratio at the door of frat parties. He might be the guy that ghosted you after a short date at Pastabilities, where he only ordered bread and insisted that you get the cheapest entrée. Possibly, it’s the guy sitting alone in a booth at Food.com with a Wilco sticker on his laptop.

Logan, the doll, has gray eyes, short brown hair and is wearing dark-wash jeans and a plaid shirt over a shirt that says “Play Loud.” Logan listens to Hoobastank and is very passionate about “real” hip-hop. His favorite show is The Office, but not in a good way. His fake ID is from Hawaii. He communicates in graphic tees and is behind the curve on memes; he just discovered Dat Boi and he’s very excited about it.

The American Girl brand says that Logan is from Nashville and is in a band with another doll named Tenney Grant, a.k.a. knockoff Taylor Swift. American Girl has never been the most inclusive brand, but they should at least attempt to give these dolls names that are a little less toxically white. You could name your dolls Kale Smoothie and Dave Matthews and they still wouldn’t be as bad as Logan and Tenney.

Besides having the most fuckboi name possible (except maybe Griffin or Kai), there’s real controversy surrounding Logan’s face. It turns out that American Girl used the face mold of Kaya, the only Native doll in the collection. Yikes! The American Girl Wiki puts it best: “This not only removes the cultural impact, but implies passively that Kaya's face is more ‘masculine.’”

It’s kind of cool that American Girl is trying to be more gender inclusive, but they didn’t stick the landing. Hopefully the idea of a boy doll will catch on, because no child should have to grow up thinking he’s the ideal of masculinity. If you see a real-life Logan Everett, avoid him. In doll form, at least, he’s somewhat bearable.