Malicious Macklemore Mondegreens: Can the Ceiling Hold You?

BY: Aubrey Schopinsky

Attending a concert may just be one of the greatest responsibilities you will ever have to face while drunk off your ass. While trying to control both yourself and your best friends, you need to remember where you are and who you’ve even paid to see, all while maintaining a football player’s stance so not to get trampled in your heavily intoxicated state. All these things under your belt and it’s a wonder that you’ve even made it to the front of the crowd without losing a limb or that flask shoved down your pants. In our drunken stupors, it’s often difficult to remember the song that the artist is singing and lyrics can get a little hazy. The auto tuned voices and their lack of talent pull you off course and leave you to invent new lyrics that often make less sense than the drug-induced originals. Luckily, with Macklemore taking the Dome stage on Monday, November 11th, you won’t have to worry about being that.. However, Macklemore’s songs are just as likely to trip you up, so save yourself the embarrassment and stupidity of the double takes and shifty–eyed glances you’ll receive and study just as hard as you party.

Kisstheguy.com

Song: Thrift Shop 1. Misheard Lyric: I'm gonna pop some fags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket

(I hate this word. If you think Equal Rights Activist, Macklemore, would ever say that, you don’t belong at his concert.)

Actual Lyric: I'm gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket

2. Misheard Lyric: I bought a seat blanket

Actual Lyric: I bought a skeetblanket

(Ignorance is bliss with this one—the stupidity wins over the actual lyric—what the hell even is a skeet blanket?)

3. Misheard Lyric: Walk into the club like what up I want a big clock

Actual Lyric: Walk into the club like whaddup I got a big cock

4. Misheard lyric: Damn, that’s a cold ass donkey

Real lyric: Damn, that’s a cold ass honkey.

Song:Can't Hold Us 5. Misheard Lyric: Like a ceiling can holder

Actual Lyric: Like the ceiling can't hold us

6.Misheard Lyric: Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'til it’s over. So we put our hands up like the ceiling fan told us, Like the ceiling fan told us.

Actual Lyric: Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'til it’s over So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us, Like the ceiling can’t hold us.