Orgasms Belong in the Bedroom...

...Not the Science Lab

By Hope Morley

I’m about to embarrass myself and my family (sorry guys). Recently, I ate dinner with my parents and my 18-year-old brother. With the help of some chardonnay, I brought up the new scientific research about the female G-spot. I wondered aloud to my mom why it seems men are always the ones to study female sexuality.

“Because we’re the ones who need to know about it!” my father interjected.

This disturbing comment brought me to my senses, so I dropped the topic. But my father’s inappropriate outburst made me think about why the G-spot warranted a scientific study at all.

My family doesn’t normally discuss the G-spot at the dinner table, but a study published last month in the Journal of Sexual Medicine really set me off. Researchers at King’s College in London asked sets of female twins ages 23 to 83 to fill out questionnaires about everything from arthritis to sexual practices.

The study functioned on the assumption that twins are genetically identical, so if there is a genetic correlation, all sets of twins should report the same physical characteristics. In the study, 56 percent of women reported having a “so-called G-spot, a small area the size of a 20p coin on the front wall of your vagina that is sensitive to deep pressure.”

Cheers, the G-spot exists. Wrong, say researchers, because both twins did not always report having one. I don’t have a mind for science, but it seems to me that if 1,010 women think they have a G-spot, it’s probably true.

More importantly, there is no need to study the G-spot when anyone who has taken Human Sexuality knows that the clitoris — that pleasure-pack just above the opening of the vagina — is the only organ on the human body with the sole purpose of sexual enjoyment.

“But if we can find the G-spot,” male scientists figured, “then we can prove that women orgasm from intercourse and I never have to bother with foreplay again!” And yet, their failure to find Venus’ Holy Grail using a survey creates just one more justification for lazy men to hit it and run, because she ain’t feeling it anyway. Movies and pornography perpetuate the myth that women can achieve orgasm in less than two minutes with no foreplay. While some women orgasm from sexual intercourse alone, most require clitoral stimulation as well. Indeed, this was a no-win study for over half the humans on the planet.

I’m not shocked by the implications of this “research.” It is hardly newsworthy that when it comes to sex, different people like different things. Some women like having a spot on the front wall of their vagina stimulated, others do not. No million dollar scientific grant needed for that discovery.

Science is wonderful when it comes to cures for diseases or wrinkles, but when it comes to my sexuality, hold off. Learn by experience, boys—not manuals. All vaginas are not the same. In the meantime, use twin vaginas to study something worthwhile (like the genetics of cervical cancer) and keep playing with the clit. She probably likes it.

Illustration by Elizabeth Latella