Quick and Dirty Dirty-Talk Tips

Photo by Cori Rosen Looking for a way to spice things up? Dirty talk seems to be a standard DIY trick for those looking to change up their sex lives, buuuuuut how do we go about it without stepping over the line or making things totally and inexplicably awkward?

Here is the lowdown on talking dirty without seeming like a psychopath.

Start with the basics.

Something easy to start with that sounds dirty, yet still pretty safe to say is simply giving your partner some basic directions. Lustfully moaning, “keep moving your tongue like that” goes a lot further than you’d think. Having the confidence to verbalize what your body wants is hot. Be in charge.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

If you’re a dirty talk novice, improvising might not be your friend. Before things get hot and heavy think of some phrases that would make you feel hot and bothered. Just for reference, you would say these things when your partner is kissing your neck or going down on you, not when their tongue in your mouth.

Some old standbys...

Dirty talk should be fun, sexy and carefree. Some fan favorites that have been known to get the party going include:

  • “Harder!” - Just like a little black dress, this phrase is sexy and timeless—the Marilyn Monroe of dirty talk, if you will.
  • “Don’t Stop!” – This lets your partner know you’re really into it…and not to stop. Seriously. Win win.
  • “You’re making me so {hard/wet}” – Definitely don’t say this one unless you actually are. Odds are your partner has a sense of sight and touch.
  • “You like that?” – Opens up the door for them to tell you that its really working for them.

A well-placed moan is also a classic. Works like a charm.

Don’t get too “porny."

Everyone loves some good porn! However, some of the porn actors/actress’s lines sound over the top and vomit-inducing. You know you’ve gone too far if you start using, “I want your hot cock in my wet pussy on top of my refrigerator”. That sounds like a game of dirty Clue. It is just too much.

Know your boundaries.

Try to steer clear of anything that can be misconstrued as offensive. Unless you’re overtly comfortable with your partner shaming you in bed, avoid degrading language. You're called 'lovers' for a reason.

To daddy or not to daddy.

Ahhh, the age-old question. Some people believe referring to your partner as “daddy” is gross and demeaning, while some think it is an incredible turn on. Well, what is a newbie to do? Use your discretion—hopefully you can get a gauge on what turns your parent on. If you think they’re a little more aggressive (or old enough to be your dad) this might be a go. If you’re with a 20-year-old timid poetry major, this might not be the best move. Feel it out, no pun intended.

Don’t overthink things.

While it is important to have an idea of what you might want to say, don’t overthink it. You don’t want to freeze up, or even worse seem disingenuous. Let the talk flow, it should feel natural—not too forced. If you've memorized lines from Fifty Shades of Grey, you are trying too hard.

Now get out there and get to talkin’.