Serious Footsie

World Champion toe wrestling

By Sean Sweeney

The people of the UK are just too bored; they spend their time inventing idiosyncrasies like the Eton Wall Game, the Spice Girls and competitive foot wrestling. Arm wrestling is one thing. You can go to the gym and get stronger or bigger, and the benefits may even woo a few females. But foot wrestling, aka the “feast of foot foolery,” has to be the ugly cousin.

Competitive foot wrestling started in the 1970s at a small pub in Wetton, Derbyshire, England and quickly gained enough fame to be considered for the Olympics in 1997. Key word: considered.

I wonder how many of these toe wrestlers- like the world champion, Alan “Nasty” Nash- have trainers or medical insurance. The amount of strain put onto the ankle tendons and foot muscles must be tremendous.

Every match is played on top of a “tedium.” The contestants have to take off their shoes and socks before locking big toes. Then, they do anything within their power to take down the opposing foot. In order to win, a foot has to be pinned to the floor.

Most contestants come decked out in wrestling costumes, spandex and all. Maybe it’s intimidation. Nash never competes without his signature sleeveless black top with “Nasty the Dominator” printed in white.

As far as I know, anyone can compete. But, there has to be some type of regulation as far as who is allowed to enter these specific competitions. If not, I’m sponsoring Shaquille O’Neal and his size 23s. They would squash any competition.