Spring Break Hot Spots

By Lindsay Dolak

The week infamously known for its crazy parties, bikini-clad slutbags in white T-shirt contests, and the potential to earn some serious STDs south of, ahem, your border is finally here. But who cares? It’s spring break, baby, and all you need to worry about is where you and your suddenly-super-slutty group of friends are shacking up for the week. Grab your bottles of Jose; here are the best places to slut it up all break long!

Cancun, Mexico

I know you’ve heard the rumors. Cancun tends to be a raging cock fest this time of year. Well, you boys might want to sit this one out, but girls, I don’t think there is really much more to discuss. Not only does Cancun offer a wide variety of ridiculous resorts dedicated to the art of raging over spring break, but also a whole bunch of horny guys probably dying to get their rocks off. If you’re looking for a hook up—or five—you can’t go wrong with Cancun.

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

If the thought of going to Mexico with a bunch of sex-hungry strangers makes you and your friends a little nervous, try going to Mexico with a bunch of sex-hungry strangers and 20 percent of your school! Puerto Vallarta is known for its student party packages and who doesn’t love a deal on drinks? So get your drunk goggles on because there’s a good chance you’re going to be hooking up with someone from school and will probably want to forget it come that post-spring break Monday. “Oh man, yeah, I hooked up with a girl in Mexico on spring break that I had class with but never talked to in class,” says Matt, a sophomore. “It was awkward the next week.”

Panama City Beach, Florida

So maybe the thought of Mexico scares you altogether. I totally get it with all those recent reports of beheadings and drug-related violence. Stick to the states instead and head south. Florida is a classic vacation spot, so why not stay where you might feel more comfortable? Panama City Beach is well-known for its not-super-expensive hotel rates and booze-filled beach day-parties. As all Syracuse University students know, day drinking is a must. This location offers the opportunity to get naked while wasted with someone during the day and then find a new hook-up at night when you get drunk all over again!

Staying Home

Okay, you’re broke and your parents don’t want to pay for all those shots and pitchers at your dream beach resort. Sucks to suck. Or does it? Say you’re from a small city in upstate NY—just a little bit better than Syracuse because it’s a few miles from a major city or fun location. What you see is your hometown, your bed, and a high probability of spending every night sharing Ben and Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns with your pug-doodle-noodle-whatever. What I see are good friends from high school, a couple of ex-boyfriends, and plenty of house parties. I know, I know hooking up with the ex over spring break is a total sin, but it’s also completely expected and definitely only frowned upon for about a week or so post-break. If people give you shit for it, remind them the odds of you having any new diseases from drinking foreign water…or people…are slim and you had a consistent hook-up all break long. In the end, you win.