Surviving the Fam During the Holidays
By Victoria Troxler
In my household, Turkey Day is one of the best days of the year. Dad pops some bottles in the a.m., and my sister and mom start cooking. I help here or there, but cooking really isn't my thing. I'm actually an incredibly talented eater. We avoid all of the smoozing of big family holidays and stick to a small crowd. Grandpa usually rolls up from Palm Springs, accompanied by whoever else wants to stop by. We make chicken instead of turkey (it tastes way better and you know it), and we are all sufficiently drunk by the time dinner comes around. It's really fratty.
Some of your families might verge on the more traditional side, and thus, Thanksgiving might be your own personal hell. You know—prayers, being thankful, and all that other family stuff. If this sounds more like your holiday, then I am terribly sorry. But remember: Thanksgiving is only one day out of the year. Here are five do's that will make your holiday way better.
DO: Sneak a drink. If drinking is an issue with your parents—again, I am sorry—sneak a few beers or glasses of wine. With a little social lubricant you'll be able to deal with the aunts and uncles who haven't seen you since last year. Remember: don't get shit faced and always chew some gum.
DO: Sit near the weird uncle. Boredom is the killer on Turkey Day. Once you've knocked back a few take a seat beside the token weird uncle. He'll keep the buzz going with his bizarre and laughable stories. God forbid you have a kiddy table and still get banished, then you’re shit out of luck.
DO: Be helpful. Washing dishes or setting the table will go a long way. Your relatives will be thankful and your parents will be proud. All this appreciation is great and all, but what does it do for you exactly? Better presents at Christmas time.
DO: Work. If you absolutely can't escape with some alcohol, use homework as an excuse. Tell your parents you have a pressing project that you've been working on all break. Next, sneak upstairs and watch some TV. Make an occasional appearance to say hi and tell them how the "project" is going. It's a classic and will save you from socializing.
DO: Suggest holiday movies. Once Thanksgiving roles around, holiday movies are totally acceptable. Suggest a post dinner movie and you'll finally get some silence when everyone passes out in their food-coma. My personal favorite: Elf.