The Other Side of the Dome

By Jess Siart

We hear it all the time while walking across the quad, at a party, or even in class: “Those damn hippies are such mooches.” This common phrase became so ubiquitous because the SUNY College of Environmental Science and Forestry began its life as Syracuse University’s parasite school on day one, using the basement of SU’s Lyman Hall as its first classroom in 1911. Even after ESF established its own campus, Stumpies still live in SU dorms, eat at SU dining halls, and take SU classes. History aside, ESF doesn’t really deserve all the shit SU students give it.

Sure, ESF’s tuition is a mere fraction of the cost of an Orange education, but the American elite needs a place to drain its bank accounts and trust funds. I can’t help but laugh when most SU students accuse ESF of mooching. Many of you contribute next to nothing to your education financially—or academically for that matter. So shut up; we’re both riding on your parents’ dime. Plus, SU professors like us better. We’re used to a real workload, not BBMing and eye-fucking the football players in a CRS class.

OK, maybe I’m being a little harsh. While we have our differences, SU and ESF do overlap in certain areas. Gather up the environmental studies majors (the least respected students at ESF), and I guarantee more than a handful of them could pass for J. Michael-clad Orange women and Keystone-pounding Orange men. On the other hand, the students dedicating 50 hours a week to understanding fruit fly reproduction in the Life Sciences Complex would fit in perfectly on the crunchy side of the Dome. Dirty sluts, dedicated students, douchey assholes, blasted hippies, and all the stereotypes in between exist on both sides of Forestry Drive. Syracuse, embrace your parasite.