The Turkey Drop

You could kill more than a turkey over Thanksgiving break

No, it’s not the name of Cosmo’s newest sex position, or the latest dance move: it’s a phenomenon most college freshmen will be experiencing and I’m here to give you the heads up!

“The Turkey Drop” is the given name for Thanksgiving break: a time when students come home for some good ole fashion home cooking, the highly anticipated high school reunion, and more importantly, the time when most couples don’t make it through the rest of the year.

Don’t believe me? Facebook just released a helpful chart showing the days of the year when most people’s statuses make the transition from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’.

Taking into account over 10,000 status updates, Facebook states relationships are safest from August through October. However, November appears to be the first part of a dreaded roller coaster, the buildup - bringing you closer to Thanksgiving and the dreaded two week period of December in which most relationships are hit the hardest.

Geez, if it’s about the Christmas presents, we don’t have to exchange gifts! (Fear not though, Christmas Day has the lowest break up recording. Aww, some of you out there really do have a heart.)

Now, relationships end for all types of reasons, whether it’s the pressure from new friends to expand your horizons, or the pressure building in your pants from continual Skype sessions that just don’t seem to do it anymore. Sometimes shit just hits the fan.

Either way, when it comes down to it, absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder, just a little hornier. So how do you deal with The Turkey Drop?

As they say, all sins are created equal. Tis’ the season for gluttony, so glutton you must! Take advantage of your new single status and hook up with that guy you’ve had your eye on in high school. If you’re old enough, hit up a sports bar for a game, strike up a conversation, throw a few insults, and maybe you’ll be the one scoring a touchdown later that night. Or get together with friends you haven’t seen in a while and start the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade drinking game!

Better yet, nothing beats spreading some holiday cheer (and you legs) when you come back to Syracuse, just in time to spend those stressful weeks prior to finals in the library stacks with that stud from ETS 245 who’s in touch with his emotional side, and his sex drive.

All in all, single or in a relationship: I have the same advice for all of you. Thanksgiving 2010: Get stuffed.