When It Is and When It Isn't Okay To Make Out With Your Gay BFF
The release of the newest Girls trailer raised an interesting question—is it okay to make out with your gay best friend? Although Hannah is pretty sexually expressive and we’re pretty sure she would make out with just about anybody, seeing her and Elijah go at it was a definite shock. I think the only answer to this question is that there are circumstances when it is and when it isn’t acceptable, but it is always a good time nonetheless. Let’s break down the situations where it’s okay and where it isn’t.
Here's when it's okay:
- If you’re both really drunk and feeling lonely.
If you find yourself turning up in Lucy’s with your crew on a Friday night and your fuck buddy isn’t answering your texts, your gay best friend is the next best thing. You can fulfill your desire for attention without worrying about there being strings attached. Sometimes, we all need a good make-out session, and at least the platonic relationship won’t lead to you being coerced into coming back to his open double for some drunken sex while his roommate pretends to be asleep.
- If you’re trying to make someone jealous.
Okay, this one is a little shady, but you’ve got to admit it... everyone has seen one of their ex-hookups out and wished that there were someone they could throw in their face. That is what friends are for. You can be effectively spiteful, make the asshole jealous, and then laugh about the look on his face together all night over some M-Street pizza. The best part about it is your friend won’t even be mad about being used because they aren’t interested in you like that and know they'll probably need a favor like that in the future, if they haven’t already.
- When you want to work on your skills.
Everyone has wondered if they’re a good kisser—if you deny it, you’re lying. What better way to find out and get some nonjudgmental pointers than to practice with a member of the opposite sex and not have to worry about judgment? It could actually give you an added boost of confidence knowing that you kill it in the make-out department.
- When you just feel like it.
Honestly, you don't even need a reason sometimes. Making out is fun, so why not? You don’t have to worry about it going any further and when there is no sexual tension or emotions involved to make it complicated.
Here's when it's less okay:
- If you have feelings for them.
Having a gay best friend that you find attractive and who expresses their own affection for you can be dangerous territory for some friendships. Feeling like you might be hopelessly in love with them when they are unable to feel the same way about you can cause tension and even ruin a friendship. Hooking up with them even when you’re drunk or “just having fun” will only make it worse.
- If you’re doing it because they don't want anyone to know they’re gay.
Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of and it is nobody’s business. If they are asking you to make out with them in public so that they can maintain an image, you should focus on making sure they feel comfortable in their own skin and not participate in a façade. It may be fun for a while, but it’s going to end up being exhausting for your friend, and even you.
- If you’re in a relationship.
I guess every relationship is different and if you do tend to want to kiss your friend when you’re drunk, you should discuss it with your significant other first. Believe it or not, most people do not like it when their significant other is kissing other people. Never assume that they will be okay with it—cheating is cheating, even if it is with someone who isn’t a threat.
If these situations don’t apply, making out with a gay best friend is always a great way to have a memorable night. Let's be honest, a no strings and no pressure drunken hookup is all we need when it’s 1:45 a.m. at Lucy’s and you’re five tequila shots deep.