Why the Rest of the World Hates America


By Nick Deyo

Though it may come as a shock to some, America is not the only country in the world. Our position as the top dog is diminishing more every day, and with superpowers like China and the European Union hot on our tail, we have a lot to feel threatened by.

But what is it about America that makes the rest of the world cast a collective stank eye in our general direction? After talking with several international students, I’ve compiled what I believe to be the Top 10 Reasons Why the World Hates America:

#10: We Don’t Clean Up Our Own Messes.

We have this nasty habit of committing to mediate armed conflicts, and then end up pulling out faster than a drunk frat boy. It’s hard to stick to your guns when they’re in the hands of terrorists.

#9: We Have Nukes, But Don’t Allow You To.

Big Brother is always watching. As the self-appointed international nuke wrangler, the US has cracked down on potential nuclear threats by being a benevolent bully. It’s our way, or the highway.

#8: We Pollute.

Each year, U.S. factories spew three million tons of toxic chemicals into the air, land, and water. Like most other things, we tend to think that being green is sexy in theory, but not practice.

#7: Toby Keith

To quote this gun-toting, beer-chugging country icon:

"The U.S. of A--Cause we`ll put a boot in your ass, It`s the American way!"

#6: We Eat. A lot.

It’s a fact: 36 percent of Americans are considered obese. We are seemingly unable to use proper portion control, electing instead for the chocolate fountain at Golden Coral. Case and point: http://thisiswhyyourefat.tumblr.com/

#5: We Failed Geography.

We seem to care very little about what is beyond our own borders. Did you know that 70% percent of Americans can’t find Iraq on a world map?

#4: We Elected George W. Bush. Twice.

Because obviously the first four years weren’t enough. The former leader of the free world did a pretty good job at making the rest of us look like buffoons. It’s hard to come back from that one…

#3: Jersey Shore.

When Snooki and Co. took their drunken Guido antics to Italy for the show’s third season, any hope of redemption was gone faster than “The Situation’s” career. The lesson we taught the rest of the world: become a drunken asshole --> get pregnant--> be famous.

#2: American Beer

American beer has become something of a novelty to the rest of the world. German brewmeisters have lovingly termed American beer “cat piss.” It’s not enough that we drink it in the first place, but the fact that we turn our noses up to the other beers of the world makes us look like party-rocking wannabes.

#1: People of Walmart

This speaks for itself. Just take a look at this site and try not to lose your faith in humanity.

Check out BITCH's article Ugly Americans for opinions of SU Abroad students.