Pressed About Pride Merch

Graphic by Hallie Meyer

We all know corporations and institutions are notorious for marketing themselves as being #woke with their meek selections of rainbow items. Unfortunately, our Syracuse campus store is no exception.

SU students are offered only three items to choose from on the site: a rainbow lanyard, mug, and graduation sash. We suppose some credit is due for not pulling a Target move and offering a “Butch please” candle, but c’mon ‘Cuse. We can do better. 

Aside from the spread of Fjallraven Kanken backpacks on the lower floor, the one redeeming component of the pride line is the rainbow shot glass (available only in-store). They’re perfect for drowning your sorrows and disappointment over the queer community’s lack of representation in the campus store.

It only seems right to offer some suggestions as to how we could remedy this problem…

1. Most of you guys probably have an oat milk-drinking, Doc Marten-wearing, wlw friend

whose pin-covered backpack and abundance of keychains make them sound like a

walking windchime. And we all know they are always dying to add to their collection. Pride and pronoun pins as well as a lesbian-flag-colored dildo keychain seem like a good place to start for June 2023’s LGBTQIA+ line.

2. If the university is comfortable passing out condoms and sex supplies to the student body,

there’s no reason to stop there. Not to target low-hanging fruit, but how ‘bout Otto with a

strap-on? We’d love to see a plush pillow with a life-sized toy attached, suitable for use

in your dorm room.

3. Finally, we all need to see more representation when we walk through the Schine doors. Some subtle, colorful bracelets featuring our beloved S, or possibly a pepper spray embellished with different flags to spray at homophobes, should suffice.

Syracuse shouldn’t claim to stand for diversity and inclusion if it can’t thoroughly accomplish

those initiatives. Otto, our charming non-binary icon, and every LGBTQIA+ individual on

campus is beyond worthy of a greater breadth of apparel to show off their pride!