The Bathroom Breakdown

The truth is, after sitting in an uncomfortable lecture hall for 20 minutes, the last thing you want to do is step foot into the Physics Hall bathrooms. From experience, it’s horrifying. 

Don’t fret though, we at Jerk have your back, and this article will help you find the best bathrooms to relieve yourself and your germaphobe soul.

So here’s a list of the nicest bathrooms on campus and why they’re so good at what they do. 

  1. Schine Underground- Pay attention when we say underground. If you spend all your time on Schine third floor like we do, you know how awful the bathrooms are up there. Pro tip- take the elevator 2 floors down and experience luxury. This hidden gem is giant and rarely used by students for some reason. It’s perfect for the quick run to the bathroom when your study sesh Dunkin moves a little faster than your homework. 

  2. Bowne third floor- We’re not really sure what happens in Bowne Hall, so maybe that’s why its bathrooms are so nice… nobody uses them. Bowne is home to the honors program so maybe Syracuse gives them the biggest and cleanest bathrooms as a perk? The good news is they don’t check your academic standing before entering this luxurious bathroom. 

  3. Barnes Center second floor- Hear us out, I know we just said Barnes. Our Jerk audience may not be the biggest gym rats, but we think everyone enjoys a good yoga class every once in a while. And we want to tell you, do not be afraid of gross gym bathrooms. The Barnes Center is this school’s pride and joy, and they take good care of it. Those bathrooms are almost always spotless. It’s worth the swipe in to avoid other bathrooms that do not have the same standards. 

  4. Newhouse 3- Like we said with Schine, pay attention when we say THREE. Newhouse 1 and 2 bathrooms give prison vibes with the god awful lighting and nasty yellow and green walls. Literally traumatizing. Walk yourself on over to Newhouse 3 and your experience will be much more pleasant. 

  5. Your own dorm bathroom- We know that dorm bathrooms at Syracuse aren’t the greatest (we’re looking at you BBB). But there’s something so homey and relaxing about your regular old dorm bathroom. It’s familiar, it’s nearby, it’s slightly… wet… all the time. It's home. 

For those readers who do face this shitty on-campus bathroom struggle, we hope you take our advice the next time Marshall Street Chipotle strikes.