WINTER HIT AND BITCH
Photo by Max Dickman
HIT
What we love
MARTY SUPREME
DECEMBER 25
Watch out Julia Fox—Josh Safdie has a new muse! This time it’s Timothée Chalamet and he’s coming back for that Oscar, only now he’s dropped his guitar, shaved his head and started dressing as a giant ping pong ball. We here at Jerk are loving it.
BRIDGERTON SEASON 4
JANUARY 29
Part one of everyone’s favorite show is back, releasing on Netflix on Jan. 29. There is no other show quite like Bridgerton for horny, period piece enthusiasts. In times when fans are lacking Keira Knightley in a corset, we instead get Shonda Rhimes’ attempt at a star-crossed lovers storyline with plenty of courts, dances and scandals to keep us occupied.
CHARLI XCX’S WUTHERING HEIGHTS
FEBRUARY 13
Are you ready for Wuthering Heights Winter?! And no, I am NOT referring to the upcoming movie adaptation. Instead I am talking about its soundtrack, an entirely new Charli XCX album that is accompanying the release of the new movie. Based on the sound of the first single, “House,” the vibe of the album seems to be inspired by gothic, darkwave pop. We are definitely intrigued by the possibility of Brat Summer’s dark and twisted sister.
BITCH
What we hate
NEW YEAR’S DAY HANGOVER
JANUARY 1
After sending off 2025 with a bang on Dec. 31, the inevitable slug of New Year’s day is bound to come. This year our resolution is to have fun without living through the consequences that carry on into the next year. Maybe this means popping open a bottle of sparkling grape juice instead of champagne. Trust us, future you will appreciate it.
NATIONAL BOBBLEHEAD DAY
JANUARY 7
We here at Jerk are currently staging a protest against this upcoming holiday. Why the hell do these creepy collectibles get an entire day of dedication? Who else is with us?! Down with the bobbles and all their hobbyists.
BRIDGERTON SEASON 4
JANUARY 29
Okay now, let's be real, who here is actually still watching this show? Are we all pretending to love listening to bad covers of The Chainsmokers on the grand piano and watching corny love stories disguised with British accents? Bring back Keira Knightley in a corset!
WUTHERING HEIGHTS
FEBRUARY 13
Directed by Emerald Fennell, the new adaptation of Wuthering Heights seems to be straying as far away as possible from the classic tragic romance and instead turning the story into a steaming pile of erotica slop. The movie stars the familiar faces of Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie, neither of which match the character description or even the character age range. I could rant some more, but for the sake of space I will simply declare that you will not be seeing me in theaters this February.