5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Going Long Distance
How surreal is it that we only have a few more weeks left of the semester? Between Mayfest, final assignments, fitting in a few more rounds at Chuck’s, and exams, we’re in the home stretch. Summer’s so close, we can basically smell the suntan lotion and sniff the salty sea, As happy as we are to be leaving ol’ Cuse for a few months, what about parting with our other halves?
Whether or not you’ve gone through them before, think that they never work, or are about to embark on your first one, over-the-summer long distance relationships are going to take some adjusting to.
As someone who likes to think she’s somewhat of an expert on LDRs, I’ve compiled a list of questions you and your #bae might want to consider before taking the summertime LDR plunge.
1. Do you still want to be together over the summer? The most fundamental issue to any relationship is how interested and invested both parties really are. When it comes to the decision of whether or not to maintain a LDR over the summer, this becomes the foundation to making it work.
Whether you’ve been together for three weeks or three years, it’s still best to ask your partner if this is something you both really want. It’s not going to be easy, but trust me, it can still work if you both want it to.
2. Is there a time difference issue? The hardest part of being in an LDR is, of course, that whole long-distance thing. After a whole school year of being lucky enough to see #bae almost every other day, hold them, kiss them, etc., being physically apart fucking sucks. But communication is key, so it’s important to plan out any potential communication issues.
Maybe you’re in Cali and your boyfriend’s from New York, so there’s a three-hour time difference. Or it’s an international LDR like my boyfriend and I (Rhode Island to Malaysia: 12-hour time difference). Whatever the time difference, it all comes to down to scheduling conversations.
3. How much time should you allocate for FaceTime, Skype, and so on? This sounds like a stupid suggestion as you’re going to assume that you’ll be in constant contact with your significant over, but reality is, it’s not going to be that simple. Between wanting to hang out with your friends back home, summer jobs, family obligations, and possible time zone differences, talking 24/7 may become a far-fetched idea.
A good way to overcome this is to actually schedule a fixed time each day to talk to each other. Whether that’s an hour in the morning and maybe two at night before you go to bed, setting a fixed FaceTime or Skype date each day ensures consistency and gives you both something to look forward to.
4. Is Skype sex going to be a thing? Three months is a long time to be apart and obviously, you’re going to have your (ahem) needs. Being apart also adds on sexual tension and frustration. Plus, it’s not going to help knowing that everyone around you but you is getting their "fix."
Trust is essential in an LD,R and while it’s human to feel insecure or a little worried that your other half might be banging someone else back home, trust him or her. If you guys have always had a very active sex life, consider including Skype or FaceTime sex into the mix to ease a lil' sexual frustration. Or, you could always let it build up for the reunion…
5. Are there possibilities of visiting each other? If you’re lucky enough to not live too far away from your S/O, consider planning a trip to visit. Whether that’s driving down a few hours or hopping on a plane, if you have the financial means and the time to do it, you should! Knowing that you’re going to see your #bae soon will keep the both of you going and ease the LDR tension. Or even better, plan a surprise trip to visit him or her and look forward to being with your love again.
Long-distance relationships are never easy, but summer is just three months, and if he or she is really worth it, you both can make it work. While there may be a few tears every now and then, and definitely a ton of "I-miss-yous," as long as you both know what you’re going through all this hard shit for, it’ll be worth it in the end. Plus, just think of all that reunion sex.
Art by Shawna Rabbas