A Guide to Emotions


By Emma McAnaw

Everywhere you turn on campus, you will hear the classic conversation: “Why don’t they like me?” The situation is always almost the same; two people meet, things start off great, and then the inevitable period of time when things either remain nice or turn to complete shit. Since we’re in college and encounter at least one shitshow per week, it’s usually the latter. And no matter how many times this happens, we all rack our brains trying to figure out what went wrong. So, to ease your minds here are a few tips on what probably went wrong (again).

We all want someone to like us. The movies and TV shows most of us are watching pound it into our heads that life will be better when someone is in love with us. So, when someone actually comes along, we tackle the opportunity with such aggression that the person is scared off. Don’t be embarrassed, it happens to all of us. But just know that if you freak out on someone for not talking to you in the last ten hours, they will want to run far, far away from you.

We tend to forget that people can’t read our minds. If you want someone to know you like him or her, you need to make that known. A booty call at 2:30 in the morning will not say, “I like you,” it says, “Let’s bang”—two very different things. So when that person stops responding to those late night texts, it is not because they never liked you or are soulless, it’s because you are coming off like a horny douchebag. Surprisingly, not many people are into that. If you want to be respected and liked, put in a little more effort than a drunken text. Sending a text that you don’t even remember sending the next morning is essentially zero effort.

Don’t compare yourself and your person of interest to other couples. If you two just started hooking up, and you’re already expecting to be just like your friend and their significant other, you are going to be sorely disappointed. It takes time for two people to learn about each other, so be patient. No one wants to be in a relationship after just a week of getting to know you, mainly because you’re still strangers. So don’t start wondering why you aren’t obnoxiously in love like the couples you know with the person you just met. Keep in mind that just the other week you wanted to drop kick those couples in the face.

Basically, chill the fuck out. If you two are good together, then it will work out. Life is too short to stress about what someone finds wrong with you. I’ll be uncharacteristically pleasant for a moment and remind you that everyone deserves someone to make you feel special, and that is worth the wait. Eventually we will look back and laugh at all the bullshit we put ourselves through and at the people who were stupid enough to let us go. But in the meantime, relax, admit when you’re wrong about the person you thought you liked, and most importantly (as always) have fun.

What are your thoughts on relationships and hookups? Share them in the comments below, or tweet us @jerkmagazine.