A (Harsh But Necessary) Letter To Who Decides What's In Style

Photo by Adham Elsharkawi

After flipping magazines pages, reading fashion blogs, and browsing boutiques, it has come to my attention that (unlike Taylor Swift and whoever this guy with “that James Dean daydream look in his eye” is)*cough, Harry*, about one third of my current wardrobe has gone out of style.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I totally understand the angst of commitment, which is obviously why I’m so single right now. I walk into class everyday, unsure if I can dedicate myself to sitting through an hour and a half of whatever I’m there for without yearning to switch seats, classes, majors, career paths or lifestyles. Within fifteen minutes, I’ve had enough and I am ready to go.

Keeping up with everything is almost as hard as the first time I ran the timed mile in gym class. I wake up each morning unsure of what I’m going to eat for breakfast. Yet there are people in this world who wake up on a brisk fall morning in 2015 and plan their outfits for their Hamptons soirees in summer 2016. Yes—summer 2016… which brings me to a series of questions I have concerning "trends."

Who exactly decides what is in style? Is there a list of trends someone is sorting through numerically, or is there a systematic process of eenie meenie miney mo going on? Furthermore, how did you even get this job? Are you taking applications? I really think my perspective would serve as a valuable asset to represent those who do not understand this dynamic of the fashion world (the majority of the population).

I mean, I wasn’t there so I don’t exactly know things went down, but I’m assuming Vogue or E!’s Fashion Police weren’t around during the Medieval Times. How did everybody get the memo to stop wearing puffy sleeves? Didn’t they have other concerns, like I don’t know... small pox or the plague? Staying up to date with season-to-season trends can be very time consuming. Tt's unrealistic to expect that people (me) can keep up their grades and know what to wear with the "must-have" fringe booties this season.

That's another issue I have with society. All of these people are telling me about all of this stuff that I “must have.” In my opinion, I must have the necessary resources for survival before I buy a $1,000 sweater you decided to make a trend this season. What happened to the jacket I got for my birthday last year? Oh, its not in style anymore? That’s fine, good thing birthdays are annual so I can get a new jacket that’ll probably be out of style by my next birthday. So glad I physically suffered all of last season breaking in those of boots and wearing socks made out of Band-Aids just to find out there's a new pair I should be wearing. Keeping up with shoe trends doesn’t just make a dent in my bank account, but also my feet. Boots season? More like blister season.

Special shootout to the revival of the ripped jeans fad. Now whenever I wear them to a family function, my grandmother can ask if I got them for cheaper since they’re missing fabric. Moving forward, I’d really appreciate it if you could clarify whether or not a trend will be making a comeback in the future. Had I known these Adidas “Superstar” sneakers would become a “thing” again about ten years ago when I threw them out, I probably would have kept them, despite the fact I would grow about four shoe sizes until they made a comeback.

What's most annoying is that trends don’t really discriminate against size. As a short girl my mom always told me horizontal stripes are less flattering for our kind of “body shape.” Yet, there I was wearing the same striped t-shirt dress as every other girl riding the Subway on the way to her internship this summer. No one, no matter what size is safe from the clutches of the evil trend monster.

Also, I don’t seem to understand the concept of a sale. The way I see it, shopping at a sale is like taking that last shot at the pregame you know you shouldn’t have taken. Much like intoxication, the desirable price clouds judgment, convincing the buyer that the purchase was a good idea. The buyer will be able to ride out the rest of the season, squeezing as many wears as she can within the next few weeks. Then the trends change—and just like the memory of that night once the alcohol hit, that article of clothing purchased on sale is a goner. It's a tease. You’re presenting us with an opportunity to appear up to date with style, but then you do a complete 180 and declare it to be “so last season.”

So I ask you (rulers of the fashion world), as you sit on your thrones of couture, take these thoughts into consideration when determining the next obscure fashion trend. Until then, I'm joining a nudist colony.