Public Service Announcement: Yik Yak Booty Calls Are Never Cute

Photo by Adham Elsharkawi

As college students, we have a lot of free time… whether we're winding down before bed, eating alone in the dining hall, or (let’s be honest) going to the bathroom, we all make time to scroll through the Yik Yak feed.

But here's the thing about Yik Yak–what used to be a site for relatable situations has now turned into a miscellaneous dating platform… that is, if you even consider some of these Yaks “socially acceptable" pickup lines.

Some mindless barbarian recently ranted on Yik Yak, “I want head, you want to get eaten out. Let’s collaborate.” Real creative. Real smooth. And that’s not even the most vulgar… they get worse. Believe me.

First of all, what is the purpose of posting content like that? And more importantly, who in their right mind would ever respond or agree to "collaborate?" There are plenty of other social media apps out there that are actually designed solely for anonymous flirting. Yik Yak is not that app. Let’s restore the app to how it used to operate, with no lewd questions or inappropriate requests. I am literally begging our society to remember the the roots and purposes of Yik Yak–a source of entertainment and a cure for boredom.

Now, for those posting these anonymous sex requests, either you have a weird sense of humor, or you actually believe you’re going to get some ass by posting a Yak... on an anonymous feed. Both of which do not by any means make your sleazy behavior cool. PSA: you're giving off bad vibes, and I’m not even convinced that any individual who responds to you will ever follow through. Regardless, for those that feel inclined to respond to the Yak, have some self- respect. You want to see this person before you partake in anything. The fact that you are engaging in an anonymous booty call means that you don’t think you deserve a face-to-face "collaboration" offer, but believe me, you do deserve it. When you see these Yaks, down vote them and keep scrolling. Don’t respond even if you are uninterested and don’t plan on actually doing anything… you're only encouraging more obnoxious posts.

Here's a brilliant idea: if you are with your friends and want to post something that will get a rise out of people, post something that's actually funny. You don't necessarily need to broadcast how horny you are. Hate to break it to you but the majority of people on Yik Yak don't care.

Yik Yak was designed for being to aimlessly vent about 1-ply toilet paper, how our school should have air conditioning, where the parties are at, and squirrel updates on the quad. It’s not meant for booty calls. If that's what you're into, download Tinder or Bumble.

If a certain "feeling" arises and you're suddenly tempted you to explore your wild side… pull up that thing called the Internet and watch some porn, don't look to Yik Yak to solve your problem. And the next time you see one of these Yaks on your phone, don’t just roll your eyes and keep scrolling… down vote that shit and pray the rest of humanity does as well. Let’s get these booty calls off of Yik Yak and make it the pointless app it's supposed to be again.