Every Type of Student You're Bound to Find in Your Recitation

5.PeopleinDisc Recitations are breeding grounds for questionable characters. We all know that feeling when you walk into a 20-person recitation, know absolutely no one, and realize you're about to spend the next five months sitting alongside some try hard named "Olivia." You never know who you'll find in there, but you always know they'll be interesting.

Below is a list of potential people you'll likely find in your recitation:

  1. The Student With No Face

This kid is still on the attendance sheet, despite the fact he hasn’t shown up since the first day. The one time he does come to class you assume he is one of those guys who sits in on classes for teacher evaluations when somebody complains or something. Just like Game of Thrones, nobody really knows what the deal is but you carry on with the show. We all know that asking a question will most likely raise twenty more follow up questions and you don’t want to ruin anything… you just want to get out as fast as humanly possible.

  1. The Over Eager One

It is very unclear whether or not they’re going to a tailgate straight from class. They have the school emblem on their backpack, binders, and pencil case. What are they wearing? Well, you guessed it– they’re always sporting the school’s colors, looking like a page from the bookstore catalogue. They have sat in the same seat, front and center, since the first day of class to project their heinous fake laugh at the TA’s awful jokes while we all at cringe at how hard they’re trying. How piercing the cackle is. This is the kid you secretly hope gets a paper cut pulling out the homework assignment your teacher forgot to collect. Their planner is thicker than your wallet was the week after your birthday. You feel awful for their one friend in the class spend most of the recitations wondering why they stick around. Every time this kid raises their hand to say something, the friend’s face looks the same way yours did when your mom asked irrelevant questions on the college tours. “What’s the nightlife like? I want my daughter to have the same experience I had back in my college days! LOL!” Shut the fuck up Mom.

  1. The Greek Gods/Goddesses

Lets be real, there is always multiple of them (they rarely travel alone). Taking a class without at least one of their pals would be like being that kid in the group project who does all the work—they have too much on their social calendar for that nonsense. Their laptops may be open for “note taking," but the only thing they’re taking notes on is the latest drama going on in their group chats, shopping carts on various shopping websites, future PNM’s, or outfits for this weekend’s themed parties. They’ll still manage to do just as well as anybody actually studying and doing the work because someone in their house has taken this class before and they have all the notes and tests which have been passed down in Big-Little baskets.

  1. The Silent But Deadly One

They sit in the back corner dressed in black from head to toe, surrounded by a barrier of mystery. They may appear harmless and disinterested, but then again, that class you thought was “easy” based on the title is now bringing down your GPA harder than alcohol brings down our standards on Halloweekend. They very well might be mute, but a glimpse into their eyes can tell you exactly what is going on in their minds. They may or may not have attempted to control their surroundings with their thoughts. The end of each class leaves you and your classmates feeling in a state of dizzy confusion trying to wrap your heads around what the teacher just taught you (aka giving you an introduction of what you’ll be teaching yourself from the textbook you still haven’t bought). These silent creatures leave with a smile on their face and completely understand the material. They’re deadly in the way that they literally kill the curves on each test. They’re murderers.

  1. The Human Search Engine

He/she somehow knows everything there is to know about anything. They cease to hold back anything they know that relatively relates the matter. They generously share a fuck ton of information with us each time they open their mouths, constantly pouring out irrelevant facts. At the end of their mini-rant they give as answers to questions, they look around expecting a standing ovation. They are full of info that’s been provided by other sources. Despite these sources being trustworthy or not, they still provide us with it. The endless regurgitation of their “intelligence” is like the pop up that you keep x-ing out of… but they just keep popping up. Although they may not contribute to the group’s moral, this person is the ideal group member because they’ll probably be the one doing all the work (and putting everyone else's name on it).

  1. The One You Have "History" With

Maybe you your lips locked on a grimy dance floor Friday night. Maybe you drunkenly admitted to cheating on the last test. Maybe they lived on your floor freshman year and they got you written up. Regardless—it's college and the amount of possible awkward situations are literally endless. Nonetheless, you’re stuck with them for 80 minutes, twice a week. The last time you worked this hard to avoid eye contact was with your mom’s friends at the checkout counter at the grocery store over break. On the first day of class, you hope they don’t remember, or pretend that you’re the one who doesn’t remember. "They don't know that we know they know we know.” The semester continues as you both secretly pray that you don’t get assigned as partners for anything.

  1. The Kid Who Just Wants to Do Well

Everybody else.

There are various types of students in recitations, but at the end of the day we’re all in the race to pack up and GTFO of there because nobody wants to be the last one in the room. The no child left behind act may have gone through, but this is college and we’re all in it to win it for ourselves.